11calls | It's where my demons hide, oh it's where my demons hide.

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It's where my demons hide, oh it's where my demons hide.

In the end it had been Simon. Alex had been aware that Simon was…watching her which sounded a hell of a lot better than stalking her since she’d heard their conversation when she’d recorded her sleep note. What Alex hadn’t realized then is just how much Simon had been protecting her or whatever and how often he’d been around. Sure, joking with Nic about Simon watching was one thing—what else is one supposed to do when you’ve got a dark sense of humor and a creepy bilocating kid with an obsession—but finding out that he’d actually been there and overheard those conversations was another thing entirely.

But in an effort to convince Alex to go to Turkey to meet him and the Horn of Tiamat, he’d come clean. Well, it was as clean as Simon had known how to come given all of his cryptic bullshit but she’d gotten the gist of it nonetheless. Alex had gotten the gist of it, and then she’d tried to hide from it, pulling the blankets over her head for a day and calling in sick and wondering if it could possibly be fucking true. That Strand was a demon and had been the entire time and that she had been friends with a demon, that she’d flirted with a demon, that she’d defended a demon and that Alex had bought into the lies and manipulations of a demon who was using her and her entire show for some untoward purpose that probably was the end of the world.

Honestly it was enough to make anyone take to their beds—even Alex Reagan with all of her bravery.

But it was only for one day, even if Alex did call out of work. Nic was more than happy to give her the time off considering it was Alex asking for it, and calls, texts and emails from Strand went entirely unanswered. The most important thing Alex knew from her investigation was that she needed two things in order to figure this out; to prove it: information and evidence. While Alex may not have been very good at collecting evidence of things (though now she can’t help but to wonder how much Strand and to a lesser extent Simon had sabotaged her efforts toward it) one thing that Alex was excellent at was collecting information and getting people to talk to her. Especially people with whom she’d already had a prior connection too.

Alex didn’t know if it was something in her voice or if it was just a case of it being the right moment but this time when she reached out to Charlie Strand, Charlie did agree to talk to her. Off the record, and Alex didn’t record it but it wasn’t about that. This had gone well past a story to the truth and Charlie told her how when they’d been out looking for Coralee, Strand had changed. It was what Charlie had meant by her not having a father anymore because the man who came back from those woods wasn’t her Dad. There had been moments in Charlie’s childhood where the man masquerading as her father had seemed to come out, but Coralee always managed to fix him. Without her stepmother, there was no hope in turning Richard Strand back into who he had been which was why Charlie was working at the Vatican hoping to find something that would work. So far? She hasn’t.

There was no way for Alex to get in touch with Coralee but there was another person who knew him, and Alex called her and begged in a way that she hadn’t when she’d talked to Cheryl before. Richard had moments of weirdness when they were children, but Howard had beaten it out of Richard. That was until Richie had gone looking for the body of Bobby Maimes that he’d seen within his dreams and came back entirely different.

It had taken a week to try and track these things down, and then Alex couldn’t sit on them anymore. She couldn’t keep pacing and waiting and worrying and talking to herself wondering if who she was actually talking to was Simon. In the end, it’s late when Alex drives to Howard’s house in the middle of a rainstorm. Knocking on his door, Alex just holds her breath not sure who—or what—was going to answer the door.

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He is so tired.

So very tired and when he feels Alex touch him he feels his chest crack with despair.

Just don't hurt her. Don't hurt Charlie or her. Fuck Coralee

My dear boy are you surrendering to me? At long last? Why? Is it because of a few threats? Or is it because you want her so much?

I don't know who I am without you. I was never given a chance.

...No. Perhaps you weren't. And wouldn't it be prudent to take revenge?

Swear to me. Alex feels so warm it's cliche, Swear to me you won't hurt her or Charlie. Use the Humanity I gave you.

Time slows. Time crawls.

Time stops for him.

I swear.

Richard's eyes open. And they're black.

His movements are unnaturally quick as he reaches for her throat.

"...Alex...My dear Alex." and he sounds like himself, "There's just the two of us now."

Time stops for Alex too. It almost seems like the world stops, that it's concentrated down to a point in a Seattle backyard with the ragged, frightened breathing of two people. She's never been good with stillness, not really, but she forces herself to be so, there on her knees next to him, waiting for some sign that things are okay. Or that they're going to be okay.

As okay as they can be considering Alex knows the truth and Richard knows that she does.

Considering what he'd said to her when he'd given her those five minutes to run.

The hand around her throat is unexpected, as is the color of his eyes and Alex loses her footing, tumbling backwards as much as she can away from him. In the process, the watch that he'd given her falls from her other hand and hits the ground next to them.

Damn.

There is no more Richard per say. There is Richard Thing. Or perhaps he was always Richard. Richard is no longer sure. The human is tumbling away from him and his watch falls and he frowns at it before bending to pick it up.

"Stay." Richard's voice rings with command as he bends. There's a memory attached to this as he picks it up and -

Ah.. He'd told her to run. He had.

"I don't want to kill you." His tone is questioning, "Or Charlie. Which is strange. You are fundamentally nothing."

He peers at her, eyes still black, staring at the watch. His fingers run over it, lost in thought - thinking -

...Five minutes...

Run!

Richard ...He cared. He cared about this watch. And he gave it to Alex.

After a moment, whatever state Alex is in - he hands the watch back - but he won't let her move.

"You have questions. Now I can answer honestly. Ask them."

There's that same command voice as he hands her the watch back looking surprisingly pleased.

Alex is shaking. There's no way around it. She's shaking and she's just staring up at him as he picks up the watch. This is an opportunity to run and she should have taken it, but the five minutes she'd had before hadn't done a damn thing but made Richard cry like a child. And now there was this.

Her own eyes are wide and dark behind her glasses, and the makeup that had been around them is smudged from the crying that she'd done but right now, Alex isn't releasing any fresh tears. There's sadness and concern and fear in her eyes, but she's no longer doing the silent sobbing that she had been before.

He doesn't want to kill her. He is the only one who's there in Richard's body. Richard had loved her and now he was gone and that's not fair.

But Alex is a reporter, and asking questions is like breathing to her, so of course they come to her lips. "You're Azazel." That's not a question, that's a statement of fact. "What happened just now? Where did Richard go?" The concern in her voice for him is evident as she stares at him.

"I am Richard." He puts a hand on his chest., "I'm Richard Strand, Born November 1rst 1960. Brother of Cheryl Strand."

A pause.

"I became Richard Strand November 1rst 1967 when I took his body. He has just...fought me until now."Richard rolls his eyes, "Dramatic bastard. He's such a romantic it's cliche. He loved you." Richard - the thing now known as Richard - studies her, "I see the appeal. You're strong. You haven't run screaming."

"Yeah, well, you kind of told me to stay, so." It's a reflex that comes tumbling out of Alex's mouth and she just looks at him, her hands curling around the watch like it's some sort of protective amulet. She knows it's not, because if it had been he wouldn't have been able to hold onto it, but she does it anyway.

"Where did he go? Why did he stop fighting you now if he's been fighting you for so long?" There's a hint of anger in Alex's voice as she watches him, because Alex often tries to use anger to smooth over the edges of her fear. This is more than that, because Alex is always going to blame herself for things.

And she asks another question: "how much of me knowing Richard Strand was you, and how much was him?"

He smirks. There's a nasty edge that was never there before.

"I was going to kill you. I was going to rip out your eyes and paint the wall with your blood to motivate him to take his place beside Tiamat that he was born for and the bastard fought me every step of the way."

He laughs harshly, looking up at the moon, "Coralee did her job well. Something I'm very sure she regrets. Richard Strand was a fighter. Poor Richie."

He tsks, "You inspired him. I think your producer did too. All of you did, but he...had to accept the way things are. He chose this. He could have sought out help and others..."

Could he? That's a question that runs through azazel's mind and he frowns, "...It was his destiny. We have been together for over 60 years. Simon will understand."

He tilts his head, "Are you starting to put things together? God is real. We're his fallen and we made a pact with Warren's ilk for a return to glory. And so. We put people in their place."

He spreads his hands and frowns at her, "...Why do you look upset."

God, she hates Coralee. But Alex can't help but to wonder if Coralee hates herself even more now. She'd said that she'd loved Richard, she looked like she'd loved Richard before she'd left again. But it definitely sounds like this is all her fucking fault.

"I look upset because I am upset. How the hell can you think that this wouldn't be upsetting for me?" Alex just frowns at the man who is wearing Richard's skin and she shakes her head for a moment, entirely in disbelief at the question that he'd asked her.

"For starters, you just said you were going to kill me. That doesn't really make someone less scared!" Which is an understatement, even if he'd already said that he didn't want to kill her a few minutes ago.

"Richard was my friend. He was in love with me. Now you're telling me he's gone. That's something to be upset over!" That's entirely an understatement considering that she'd loved him too. "Especially since it sounds like he chose to do it so that you wouldn't kill me!" Alex feels like a murderer. Her chest hurts as she frowns at him right back.

"I am him." Azazel growls, "I have been him, he was chosen for me."

He pulls back and studies her, bemused, "He's probably angry I suggested you be the first of a legion of concubines. He fought me and than claimed that his humanity would rub off on me in time."

His eyes narrow, "Take heart. He is at peace now. And stop being upset. He..."

No. No no no. The humanity trickles in.

"He died well. But he died as a child. and He doesn't know what love really is. He never did. You were the temporary first in a legion."

Doesn't. Didn't. The demon growls - a low animal sound. He is about to ask what she knows about him, what she knew about him. Except there's nothing. He is dead. They are one and he won and there is no humanity left in him.

"...What do you- what did you know about him." Richard's features focus on her, "What did you truly know."

She knew he liked to sit and listen to the rain and read books. She knew he preferred Star Trek over star Wars. She knew he'd change a tie at the drop of a hat and refused to take off his jacket even when it was sweltering hot. She knew he liked to cook and that he'd get creative. She knew his mother taught him and that his sister had seen demons and one of the demons had-

Azazel feels dirty.

It's not fair.

Alex wants to slap him. She wants to slap him so hard that Richard would come back. But she settles for glaring at him when he mentions that she was going to be a legion of concubines. That she was temporarily the first. That Richard didn't know what love is.

So, Alex moves forward a little but, not letting his growl scare her away, even though it should because he looks at her like Richard Strand when she'd called him eleven times and when he'd sat across a desk from her and tried to hide the black tapes.

"Richard loved the opera. Don Giovanni was his favorite. He loved the music of it. He made homemade pizza and made fun of me for not eating enough vegetables. He hiked with me in the woods in a three piece suit because he wanted to spend time with me. He liked the rain and when he could tuck me under his arm. He wanted to be Spock, which is why he adopted the Dr. Strand asshole persona. He wanted to be Richie, the boy who stood up for his friends and defended his sister, and..."

She lets out a soft sigh. "I know that Richard loved me. And I know that he would never want a legion of concubines because that's not who he ever was. He wanted someone to cuddle with, and be close to and who would rest her head on his shoulder. If he just wanted someone to fuck he was attractive and famous and he could have. I'm sure he did before he met me. But Richard loved me. And Richard stopped fighting so that you wouldn't kill me. It's why you don't want to kill me or Charlie."

"No. He doesn't understand. Didn't understand. Real love is...total devotion."

Richard Strand's black eyes fade back to ice blue and he stares skyward, "Not a single damn one of you can see. I used to tell him. I used to tell him stories of heaven and he listened and I still...I still." His eyes fill with tears, "I'm still."

His head is unbearably empty. For the first time Azazel has control of his hands and feet and all of these things he had observed like an animal watching television. His little models and his toys. His first speaking engagements.

My humanity will linger on you. It's a part of you.

"He stopped fighting because he was weak." The demon sounds hurt and disgusted, "I will keep you." I want to find these rich and famous women and know them and watch you suffer."

It's spat out, defiant like a little boy.

"Walk beside me." Azazel gestured, "You are staying with me now Alex. He wants-wanted that."

The older man stared at his hands before his features meet hers, interest flickering across his eyes before boredom sets in. You're not here anymore Richard. This is just Me. For the first time in eternity I am alone inside my head." He licks his lips and realizes he could ruin this figure and ruin her and destroy the world around him.

He does not do that.

"I thought you would ask about me. Not Richard." Azazel rolls his eyes, "I promise you. He is not that interesting."

"You have the impulse control of a five year old," Alex just spat the words out at him as she moved to her feet. She just shakes her head and glares at him. More than a small part of her expects to see the real Richard there on the ground, lying there dead before them and with this impostor like something of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. "You are seriously not in any condition to call anyone else weak. Especially not him."

But she is standing next to him. But she knows that she's not going anywhere, if only because Alex doesn't want to make Richard's sacrifice for nothing. Alex can't do that to him.

"You're a Fallen Angel." She says softly. "You think that nothing is ever going to beat God's love or be on the same level with it so you're going to say that it's the only kind of love that matters when it isn't. How can you be inside a human for sixty years and not understand that?"

But he wants her to ask about him so Alex does: "so what's the plan now? We hop on a plane to Hollywood so you can try and hurt me fucking actresses?"

He stares at her and shakes his head, "We're going to Geneva. We're summoned there and now that Richard and I are fully one I cannot travel as I could once."

He straightens his tie, "...walking through the forest ruined my suit."

His lip curls as he opens the door for her and holds it before stopping and staring at his hand performing the action, "...Foolish. He has money. He doesn't need - I don't need to hold open doors for people." His lips press together and the Azazel/Richard shakes his head, "Walk quickly."

She doesn't need a bag does she? No. She needs nothing...

But he wants to give her things and he has to wonder if it's Richard and a terrible thought strikes Azazel. What if he's not really gone?

It was such a human fear.

"...there are clothes upstairs for a woman. I will get them for you. You. will stay."

"I am not a fucking dog!" Alex's voice is hot and angry, because that's normally happened when she got angry: she went warm and he went cold and she's had just about enough of all of this.

"Stop telling me to come or to stay. I'm not a pet or a puppy. Stop telling me to walk quickly or slowly." Her eyes are flashing, and his clothing isn't the only one that had gotten wrecked out in the forest. Alex is standing with more than a little bit of a smudge of dirt on her, and her hands have some scratches.

But more than that, Alex is trying to think. She's trying to think why Richard has women's clothing upstairs and if it's Coralee's she's going to throw up. She's wondering if there's a way to get out of going to Geneva. If only she didn't have her passport with her.

"Do you even know how any of this stuff works?"

"I'm not stupid. I've traveled before." The demon's voice reappears and then vanishes before he turns back to her, "...Why do you...are you sad?"

The demon that has become Richard combs through his memories and wishes - once again - for the human to return.

It's a flicker of something and it makes him angry before he raises a hand and cups - plates and glasses - shoot across the room without being touched to shatter on the wall.

That...

Azazel-Richard stares at it before looking back at her in horror.

"I want you to come. What..." Azazel frowns and Richard looks lost, "...What am I doing wrong than? I have done this - I have seen Richard do this before."

"I'm not sad! I'm angry!" Alex flinches when the cups shatter, she can't help it. She's shaking with the emotion, and she's still scared and yes, she's still sad too because this whole thing is a lot and Richard is still gone and they're going to Geneva and Jesus Christ she's going to fucking punch Simon in the face.

She's starting to think that he set her up for this, which seems crazy but also seems right. Both crazy and right have been Alex's natural state for three years; why should this be any different.

"You're treating me like I'm a pet! That's what you're doing wrong. Jesus Azazel, Richard could be an asshole, but he didn't order me around. And who's clothes are they upstairs anyway?"

He'd told her to stay so Alex immediately takes two steps towards him. The fast way to Alex to do something was to tell her that she couldn't do it. And it didn't matter if he was scary or not, if this situation was insane or not; Alex Reagan is still Alex Reagan.

Why does that name sound wrong?

That scares Azazel. It's on the tip of his tongue to correct her I'm Richard but no. He's Azazel. He's better. He is a general. A prince. A king in the making and...and...

"They belonged to my - to Richard's sister." the demon grimaces. His chest hurts. Seeing her angry is upsetting. Richard did that. Richard was touched by Alex's rages. He wanted to see her passionate and happy.

Why is this bothering him?

"...I would like you to come with me to Geneva." the thing wearing Richard's skin tugs at his suit in what might be a painfully familiar gesture, "The clothes upstairs belong to m-Richard's sister."

The gesture is so familiar that it makes her ache. It makes her ache and makes her chest her and it makes her swallow tightly over the knot in her throat that is the unbound sadness and anger and guilt.

But he's having moments where he's like Richard, and it's confuses her, and she doesn't know what's going on. If Alex hadn't seen his eyes turn black, and his mouth open and everything else she'd think that she should be calling a Doctor for him. Did demons have identity problems?

That's a question for another time.

"I don't want things from Cheryl that aren't going to fit me. She's taller than I am. I want my own things. If." And it is an 'if', there's no denying that force that's in Alex's voice. "If I'm going to Geneva with you, I want my own clothing." Even if Alex doesn't know why he wants her to go to Geneva with him in the first place.

Humans! Humans and their needs. Humans and their demands. It wasn't as if Richard had demands...

But he did like his clothes. And the demon liked them. They had agreed on these things, they both liked looking pleasant. Azazel remembered once - at a party - someone had spilled wine on his coat and the man had suffered later.

A demonic smile crosses his features before he looks back at Alex and he looks down at his shoes.

"I...understand the attachment. We shall go to your house and then we will go to Geneva." he pauses, "I have tickets for a first class flight to Warren and when we arrive, you will be safe there."

The last five lines burst out before he gestures, "Go out to my car."

It is a command. He just needs a moment.

Richard had been a seven year old boy who's father had beaten the hell out of him. Alex Reagan was 33, angry and she wasn't someone who didn't know how to just accept anything because someone told her that it was so. If she was then Alex wouldn't be here because her association with Richard Strand would have ended years ago--if it had even began.

People who didn't make demands didn't normally make eleven phone calls to paranormal researchers and their publishers until they got an interview.

Which is why he probably should be suspicious when after her outburst before, when she's got such angry tension in her shoulders that Alex does grab the bag that she'd dropped when Richard told her to run and she does go out the door. But she doesn't go meekly to his car. Instead, Alex runs towards her own, pulling out her keys as she did so. Her phone is dead, her recorder is smashed, but she's still got her car keys.

Which means Alex still has an escape.

There is an idea in his head that confuses him. If Alex goes to Geneva she'll be safe but why? What would he do? If she went to Geneva she'd be sacrificed-

He didn't want Alex hurt.

At the beginning of the evening he wanted her dead. Richard knew that. Richard-

"You bastard." Richard Strand clenched his fists, "You absolute bastard how did you-"

It didn't matter. He turned his attention to Alex in his mind only to find her gone.

That.

He can't just appear but he can move. He can run fast. He's traveled by shadow since falling but now that he was human, fully human...

No. Not fully. He can't travel but -

There's a trickle of ice in her mind.

Alex why are you leaving.

She made it almost to her car. Alex had been about to pull open the door to her car door when she feels it in her mind. When she can feel the words rather than being able to hear them. They're cold, and if Alex had any remaining doubt about him being a demon it was gone now.

"I told you!" Alex's voice is loud and sharp. "To stop treating me like I was your pet. I'm not!" And there was everything else about that whole not really having a choice in this part as well, but Alex isn't going to try and explain that by shouting in his driveway.

Even if people wouldn't hear them from the road or the other houses. If they hadn't heard them in the forest of Richard's backyard then they wouldn't be able to hear them now. But just in case. It wasn't like talking about how he was a demon would help with Alex's sanity if it came down to that.

"Stop ordering me around. I'm not your pet and I'm not your property and I'm not your first concubine or whatever."

Why did his chest hurt.Why did he feel bad?

He shoved it down and sent the unspoken command of freeze - ideally leaving her frozen in place as he strode out of the house, commanding and imposing.

His eyes black.

Striding over to his car, he tugs - and rips the door off without a second thought.

"Do you feel me in your mind?" He pours more ice into her, "Do you? I want you to understand that if you leave. I will kill you."

Alex freezes, she doesn't want to but it's suddenly like all of her muscles in her body don't want to obey her anymore. Her mouth is open, because she'd been about to say something else, and Alex can't even make her lips close. Her nerves are firing, Alex knows that but it's almost as if there isn't anyone who happens to be at home with doing what those nerves should be. She knows that her nerves are, because she can feel the cold there.

But her muscles start to tremble, and she lets out a little whimper when her car becomes basically nothing more than scrap.

Her muscles can't handle the ice that he's adding too her frame, and her knees buckle below the weight of it. The weight is more than just the ice, more than just the car. Her eyes fill with tears making them luminous before they spill down over her cheeks again, and Alex just gasps softly. "Stop." It's as if it took all of the not inconsiderable amount of will that Alex has just to make that sound.

His ribs constrict and Azazel knows something is wrong. Something has gone wrong, something is wrong, he was not told something he was lied to. Richard Strand is dead. But he is also Richard.

I've never known life without you Richard's voice murmurs in his mind, So how do I know where you end and I begin?

He moves toward her, focused, as he moves to touch her - her arms and shoulders and her head.

"...You shouldn't have tried to leave." Richard's throat constricts, "You shouldn't. See? Now you're hurt. You're hurt and that's bad." He presses a hand to her forehead without her consent but he sounds anxious. He sounds worried, "...I want you to be okay."

Richard's Humanity has changed him.

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