11calls | It's where my demons hide, oh it's where my demons hide.

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It's where my demons hide, oh it's where my demons hide.

In the end it had been Simon. Alex had been aware that Simon was…watching her which sounded a hell of a lot better than stalking her since she’d heard their conversation when she’d recorded her sleep note. What Alex hadn’t realized then is just how much Simon had been protecting her or whatever and how often he’d been around. Sure, joking with Nic about Simon watching was one thing—what else is one supposed to do when you’ve got a dark sense of humor and a creepy bilocating kid with an obsession—but finding out that he’d actually been there and overheard those conversations was another thing entirely.

But in an effort to convince Alex to go to Turkey to meet him and the Horn of Tiamat, he’d come clean. Well, it was as clean as Simon had known how to come given all of his cryptic bullshit but she’d gotten the gist of it nonetheless. Alex had gotten the gist of it, and then she’d tried to hide from it, pulling the blankets over her head for a day and calling in sick and wondering if it could possibly be fucking true. That Strand was a demon and had been the entire time and that she had been friends with a demon, that she’d flirted with a demon, that she’d defended a demon and that Alex had bought into the lies and manipulations of a demon who was using her and her entire show for some untoward purpose that probably was the end of the world.

Honestly it was enough to make anyone take to their beds—even Alex Reagan with all of her bravery.

But it was only for one day, even if Alex did call out of work. Nic was more than happy to give her the time off considering it was Alex asking for it, and calls, texts and emails from Strand went entirely unanswered. The most important thing Alex knew from her investigation was that she needed two things in order to figure this out; to prove it: information and evidence. While Alex may not have been very good at collecting evidence of things (though now she can’t help but to wonder how much Strand and to a lesser extent Simon had sabotaged her efforts toward it) one thing that Alex was excellent at was collecting information and getting people to talk to her. Especially people with whom she’d already had a prior connection too.

Alex didn’t know if it was something in her voice or if it was just a case of it being the right moment but this time when she reached out to Charlie Strand, Charlie did agree to talk to her. Off the record, and Alex didn’t record it but it wasn’t about that. This had gone well past a story to the truth and Charlie told her how when they’d been out looking for Coralee, Strand had changed. It was what Charlie had meant by her not having a father anymore because the man who came back from those woods wasn’t her Dad. There had been moments in Charlie’s childhood where the man masquerading as her father had seemed to come out, but Coralee always managed to fix him. Without her stepmother, there was no hope in turning Richard Strand back into who he had been which was why Charlie was working at the Vatican hoping to find something that would work. So far? She hasn’t.

There was no way for Alex to get in touch with Coralee but there was another person who knew him, and Alex called her and begged in a way that she hadn’t when she’d talked to Cheryl before. Richard had moments of weirdness when they were children, but Howard had beaten it out of Richard. That was until Richie had gone looking for the body of Bobby Maimes that he’d seen within his dreams and came back entirely different.

It had taken a week to try and track these things down, and then Alex couldn’t sit on them anymore. She couldn’t keep pacing and waiting and worrying and talking to herself wondering if who she was actually talking to was Simon. In the end, it’s late when Alex drives to Howard’s house in the middle of a rainstorm. Knocking on his door, Alex just holds her breath not sure who—or what—was going to answer the door.

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"Coming together."

He moves to sit, pulling his knees up to sit with a grunt. Heedless of her he moves to pull up his pants leg - there's no bruise and the scrapes on his hands are gone. Satisfied, he stares at the door.

"I was seven years old." The man's voice is soft, "Cheryl had dreams of something in the corners of our room. We both had shared dreams, lucid or otherwise, of the demons that haunted us. Desperate to prove it to my father I videotaped them. I showed it to my father and he beat me senseless. Knocked me to the floor."

Richard's features are passive but there's a hanging sense of cold around him that dissolves, slowly, ever slowly.

"They came on my birthday, because apparently ancient entities are cliche to the point of being boring. It forced itself inside me. The ultimate violation - and I was suddenly saddled with a companion just as Simon is. Chosen unwillingly to be a host for this creature that was supposed to burn me away. That very nearly did."

"I have spent over fifty years afraid of that thing and wanting to be human but I can't.I perhaps never could. I have barely known myself out without the demon that is now a part of me. That has made me someone...different."

He turns to stare at Alex, eyes gray before they fade to black, "Alex. I am not the Richard Strand you knew, but I am his...sense of self. And Azazel's powers and memories and abilities. And his sense of self. What Warren and Tiamat - grasping creatures willing to prey on lost creatures like snake oil salesmen...is the success of lost creatures coming together. There is a lot mankind has in common with both the dark and the light of this world. I see that now."

He dwindles, looking at nothing.

Pulling herself into a sitting position, Alex just faces him, her eyes wide when he tells the story of what happened to him. There's pain there, a pain for him and what he went through, how bad it had been for longer than she had been alive. It's instinct for her to raise her hand to his face to touch him, but she pulls it back, because it doesn't seem right to force her touch onto him when he'd just spoken of what the demon did.

It's harder than watching him even on the night that Coralee had grabbed them before Warren could. It's harder than the story of what Howard had done. It's harder, somehow and in some way than hearing about how he was a demon. Alex just breathes for a long moment, her eyes not looking away from him even though he looks away from her.

Both of them together, and Richard was Richard still in a way, even if it was just the sense of himself that he'd shared with the demon inside of him. "Okay," Alex just says at last, and she puts her hand on his arm. "Then how do we stop them from doing that?"

His hand moves to hers on his shoulder.

"You don't have to come with me." He pauses, "Don't mistake me, I want you to. But it is selfish of me wanting you to be here. I want you here to remind me why humanity is worth it as well as to fight him."

He stares, "Because if there's one thing that I've come to realize - human beings are animals that I could stop."

There's a dark static edge to his voice but he withdraws.

"And I would. But there are good things. I just want to remember what they are. And it begins with trying to find others like me. And like you."

“Like I wouldn’t come with you, Richard.” Because of course she would because this was her story still even if she never got to tell it. Alex Reagan had helped spin the wheels of it, putting it in motion in more ways than one. And even if she hadn’t, even if she wasn’t coming because she was following that thread, there’s no way that Alex wouldn’t have gone to remind him that humanity was worth saving.

It was. It is. And Alex is going to remind him of that as much as she needed to.

But Alex just frowns at him for a moment, not understanding what he’s saying. Alex Reagan was just normal before she’d gotten involved in this and maybe he means it that way? Like other people who are a touchstone for the hybrid’s humanity or whatever. But she has a sinking sensation in her gut that it’s more complicated than that. “What do you mean ‘like me’?”

Richard would lessen the blow.

He is not Richard. Not entirely. Turning to face her he holds her hands and meets her gaze.

"Alex."

He pauses, "How do you think they chose children?"

“What?” Alex just stares at him for a moment her eyes wide behind her glasses and there is fear darkening the pupil there. Her stomach flips over and over, summersaults like she used to do when she was smaller and she just shakes her head.

“No. It can’t be. I can’t be one of those kids. I can’t be. So no, I don’t know how they’re chosen. I thought they just were because someone opened the door for them or whatever.”

Her voice is forceful. “No one did that to me.”

"Count yourself lucky."

He moved to hold her hands tighter.

That doesn't mean the door is gone. No No no, but that means there are things that she should know. He hates himself for it. Holding her hands and swallowing.

"I'm sorry. It just remains to be said. Doors don't go away. You could still be taken."

"What? How do I even have a door anyway? Why do I? That doesn't make any sense, Richard." She's frowning at him and she just looks away for a second then down at their combined hands. Her breathing comes a little bit harder, and a little bit faster as she's trying to process this. Because if she's from one of those kids then...

Then her getting involved in this isn't random. Her becoming obsessed with it isn't random and the connection that she has (had? has?) with him wasn't something that had been forged by the time that they were together just investigating this sort of thing. It means that whatever it was, at least part of it has a sense of predestination and fate to it.

Alex Reagan doesn't believe in fate.

But it makes sense, and there's horror in her voice. "Something wants to take me, doesn't it? It's what my nightmares have been about. It's why I didn't dream when I was here with you last night." Because Alex always jumps to conclusions, so she's doing it here.

He doesn't say anything because honestly his response would be it's ideal.

He's not human. Richard Strand would fight tooth and claw against it as he had, but Richard isn't here anymore. Instead looks to the door of their hotel room.

"Anything can be a temple."

He stares at it.

"Anything can be blessed."

"What?" Alex just blinks at him, her eyes wide and she starts to pull her hands away from his. "What are you talking about, Richard?" He'd asked her before if he scared her, and he'd been scaring her off and on for the last twenty-four hours, but the way he says that sends a shiver down her spine.

"No." It's firm and sharp and she just stares at him. "Don't even think about it, Richard. If I'm supposed to be here to remind you of your humanity, then I have to be human. Besides you don't even know for sure if I'd end up like you and Richard or Simon and his demon. For all you know I could just end up broken and a shadow. Is that what you want?"

"...No."

He shakes it off, tearing his gaze away with difficulty "...No. Of course not. I'm sorry." He runs a hand through his hair, "I apologize. I'll be better. I..."

He breathes, slow, "It would appear that is something I must contend with. As it is, it is better to collect people like you who never had someone open the door - so that you could keep them safe."

He nods, standing up and staring down at his rumpled and scraped and torn suit, "...Think if I ask downstairs I could find something presentable?"

It won't be his normal clothes but he can at least try.

Relief floods her. Alex can’t help it. She’s not wrong when she worries about the fact that she’d would in fact end up losing the battle that Richard had either won or lost depending on the viewpoint that he’s taking right now.

But Alex isn’t an idiot. She knows Richard, she knows what she’d heard from Azazel and Alex knows that what he wants to do is open the door for her anyway if only so he wouldn’t be so alone.

Richard had saved her earlier, and he’s still saving her and a part of it breaks her heart. And a part of her is extremely relieved that at least that piece of him is still there.

Without thinking about it, Alex rises to, her clothing rumpled from travel and from the forest and from sleeping in it. Richard Strand would never be caught dead looking like this and she knows it. It’s just another way that he’s still like himself even if he’s not exactly himself. Alex just puts her hand on his cheek again and without thinking at all about it, or why she’s doing it she just presses her lips to his own.

Azazel understands than.

They understand why the garden happened, why God loved them. Jealousy gave way to understanding. Azazel lets slip a foothold on it's inhumanity and the two souls merge tighter but Richard-

Richard wraps Alex in his arms and kisses her softly, deeply. He nuzzles against her when he pulls back, his forehead pressed against hers.

"I've waited at least two years to do that." His voice is hoarse, soft and hoarse, "Semantics aside, details aside, circumstances aside. No matter what happens. You feel so right in my arms."

When he wraps his arms around her, Alex almost wants to cry with relief. It feels so damned right to be in his arms like this, just as it had felt right to have herself tucked under his arm and her head practically on his chest as he made her watch stupid movies and then told her about how he preferred Star Trek to Star Wars.

This was a line that they're danced near crossing, one step forward, two steps back, their toes hanging over the edge of it like high divers about to leap before they end up chickening out and drawing back. There were reasons for it of course, so many reasons like the show and their professional ethics and everything else.

But none of those matter now, and she just wraps her arms around his neck.

"Yes. We waited too damned long." She knew why. He knew why. But now Alex and Richard don't need to wait. Pressing her lips against his again, she just whispers: "I love you."

I don't know you except he did. And God it felt nice to be needed.

Could he thank his sires? Both of them? One who hated and the other who loved humanity? He shoved it out of his mind. He was Richard fucking Strand. Born to Marilyn and Howard Strand November 1rst All Saint's Day. He wanted to be Spock when he was little and even if he was somehow gifted with demon abilities now-

"I love you too."

-He was him.

"...When this is all over we should go away."

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Alex just laughs softly, and she pulls away with reluctance. "Maybe we'll hit Paris. Or Ireland, Ireland might be nice." But it's something that's going to have to wait and Alex knows it. She knows that they have other things to do first and many miles to go before they can actually take a vacation.

"We can check and see if they have anything downstairs, but I wouldn't hold my breath. There's a larger city about twenty minutes from here, I saw it on the map last night. We should be able to find you some clothes you'd like there and it'd be a good place to regroup."

Remembering how things had gone yesterday, Alex can't help but to ask: "you said Warren knew we weren't on the plane. Can you still sense him? Can he still sense you?"

"He is...distracted."

Cocking his head to the side like an animal, Richard Strand looks up sharply, "...There are people nearby however who would serve our purpose. Including someone like me."

He pauses.

"A failure."

Turning to look at her, "...Here's where I need you. There are pieces of my memory that are returning...are you...is this...if we need to rescue someone. To investigate. You need to walk me through it for now.

Warren being distracted doesn't sound like it's a very good thing considering how much he'd wanted Richard in Geneva. Alex knows it, and it gives her a bigger sense of urgency than she had before. Like they needed it really.

But Alex has always been good at investigating. She'd been good at digging out the secrets that even he had been trying to hide. It makes sense that she would need to take the lead on it for him. Of course at the moment she was hampered by the lack of a phone that had the internet, or a computer, but she could fix that. They could fix that.

So, Alex just nods at him and then she gestures to the table. "Tell me what you know while you're eating, Richard. I think eating will help too. Maybe not as much as the sleeping did, but you've never been particularly good at being hangry so."

Food?

Yes. He stares at his hands and then nods slowly. What does he like to eat? What is his favorite food because that might help. Looking at her he tilts his head at her and nods slowly, very very slow.

"...Pancakes?"

He tries not to sound like a child as he says it, adjusting his rumpled tie and shirt, "And can we find some place with better clothing?"

"Okay. I don't know how easy it's going to be to find pancakes in France, but we'll definitely try, okay?" There was probably some fancy French version of pancakes that Richard would have known before but he didn't know now. Maybe they were crepes or something. But Alex would find him something that he would eat, that's just what she did and what she'd been doing for the last two years.

The mention of clothing brought an amused smile to her face that Alex tried desperately not to make. After all, he always wore long sleeves and wore a suit when they'd gone traipsing through the woods to the cabin and the sign that he was coming back to himself before was when he'd taken off the flannel and put the suit back on.

"Yeah, we'll find you some clothing. Considering Warren can track you through your mind, it probably doesn't matter if we use our credit cards or whatever. Can you still do the thing with the car?"

"Anything Electrical." He stretches his hands and clenches them leaving the lights in the room to flicker, "...I operate in shadows and darkness."

He smiles a nasty smile before he shakes it off, "...I don't want to but. Anything. Electrical or anything that requires a spark."

He tugs at his shirt before adjusting his glasses and looking back at her, "Clothes first. Than I can tell you where we go."

Post breakfast and purchasing a shirt and tie he leads her to a small french village and orders her to stop in front of a small shop - throwing a hand across her chest just as the car stops.

"We're too late."

"What?" Alex just blinks at him as the car stops, and he says that they're too late. "I don't understand. What are we too late for, Richard?" Panic starts to crawl along her insides, shifting and pulling along her veins as Alex breathes like Dr. Bernier taught her too. She's trying the counting thing because if she panics, then she knows that she's not going to be any good to anyone.

Despite the hand on her chest, Alex looks at the building, tilting her head and leaning forward in order to see the building through the windshield. It looks like a normal small shop that you'd find in any small village. It doesn't seem like there's anything out of the ordinary to her, but she does trust Richard, and she does think that he wouldn't have her stop for no reason. "What's going on?"

"...They've been here." He swallows and his eyes darken to black. He slowly pulls away from her and hisses. It was a family. It was a family and the child who wasn't handling it well...Who was struggling with the demon inside of her...

"...Don't go in there."

He clenches his fists, "We should turn back."

The door creaks open blowing in the wind, revealing the darkness beyond.

"I might be able to help them. Whoever's left inside." Alex's voice is soft and her eyes fixate on the door as it blows open in the wind. "I might be able to help them." It's probably a trap, and Alex is aware of it, but the picture of Sebastian sticks in her mind for a long moment.

Once it would have been Simon, but Alex still thinks that he set her up for all of this, and it's starting to become even more evident considering that Richard needs her to remember to how to be human as well as how to find humans.

Her hand is on the door handle already, and Alex's other one undoes the seatbelt that she was wearing.

"Don't."

He sounds sad. Genuinely sad.

"There's a lot of blood. Maybe this was a mistake." He hesitates, "Maybe I shouldn't have you help because I-"

He cocks his head to the side, "...He's still here." His gaze alights on the forest and he looks at her, staring through her, "...He. He's waiting for us."

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