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It's where my demons hide, oh it's where my demons hide.
In the end it had been Simon. Alex had been aware that Simon was…watching her which sounded a hell of a lot better than stalking her since she’d heard their conversation when she’d recorded her sleep note. What Alex hadn’t realized then is just how much Simon had been protecting her or whatever and how often he’d been around. Sure, joking with Nic about Simon watching was one thing—what else is one supposed to do when you’ve got a dark sense of humor and a creepy bilocating kid with an obsession—but finding out that he’d actually been there and overheard those conversations was another thing entirely.
But in an effort to convince Alex to go to Turkey to meet him and the Horn of Tiamat, he’d come clean. Well, it was as clean as Simon had known how to come given all of his cryptic bullshit but she’d gotten the gist of it nonetheless. Alex had gotten the gist of it, and then she’d tried to hide from it, pulling the blankets over her head for a day and calling in sick and wondering if it could possibly be fucking true. That Strand was a demon and had been the entire time and that she had been friends with a demon, that she’d flirted with a demon, that she’d defended a demon and that Alex had bought into the lies and manipulations of a demon who was using her and her entire show for some untoward purpose that probably was the end of the world.
Honestly it was enough to make anyone take to their beds—even Alex Reagan with all of her bravery.
But it was only for one day, even if Alex did call out of work. Nic was more than happy to give her the time off considering it was Alex asking for it, and calls, texts and emails from Strand went entirely unanswered. The most important thing Alex knew from her investigation was that she needed two things in order to figure this out; to prove it: information and evidence. While Alex may not have been very good at collecting evidence of things (though now she can’t help but to wonder how much Strand and to a lesser extent Simon had sabotaged her efforts toward it) one thing that Alex was excellent at was collecting information and getting people to talk to her. Especially people with whom she’d already had a prior connection too.
Alex didn’t know if it was something in her voice or if it was just a case of it being the right moment but this time when she reached out to Charlie Strand, Charlie did agree to talk to her. Off the record, and Alex didn’t record it but it wasn’t about that. This had gone well past a story to the truth and Charlie told her how when they’d been out looking for Coralee, Strand had changed. It was what Charlie had meant by her not having a father anymore because the man who came back from those woods wasn’t her Dad. There had been moments in Charlie’s childhood where the man masquerading as her father had seemed to come out, but Coralee always managed to fix him. Without her stepmother, there was no hope in turning Richard Strand back into who he had been which was why Charlie was working at the Vatican hoping to find something that would work. So far? She hasn’t.
There was no way for Alex to get in touch with Coralee but there was another person who knew him, and Alex called her and begged in a way that she hadn’t when she’d talked to Cheryl before. Richard had moments of weirdness when they were children, but Howard had beaten it out of Richard. That was until Richie had gone looking for the body of Bobby Maimes that he’d seen within his dreams and came back entirely different.
It had taken a week to try and track these things down, and then Alex couldn’t sit on them anymore. She couldn’t keep pacing and waiting and worrying and talking to herself wondering if who she was actually talking to was Simon. In the end, it’s late when Alex drives to Howard’s house in the middle of a rainstorm. Knocking on his door, Alex just holds her breath not sure who—or what—was going to answer the door.
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"No." It's firm and sharp and she just stares at him. "Don't even think about it, Richard. If I'm supposed to be here to remind you of your humanity, then I have to be human. Besides you don't even know for sure if I'd end up like you and Richard or Simon and his demon. For all you know I could just end up broken and a shadow. Is that what you want?"
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He shakes it off, tearing his gaze away with difficulty "...No. Of course not. I'm sorry." He runs a hand through his hair, "I apologize. I'll be better. I..."
He breathes, slow, "It would appear that is something I must contend with. As it is, it is better to collect people like you who never had someone open the door - so that you could keep them safe."
He nods, standing up and staring down at his rumpled and scraped and torn suit, "...Think if I ask downstairs I could find something presentable?"
It won't be his normal clothes but he can at least try.
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But Alex isn’t an idiot. She knows Richard, she knows what she’d heard from Azazel and Alex knows that what he wants to do is open the door for her anyway if only so he wouldn’t be so alone.
Richard had saved her earlier, and he’s still saving her and a part of it breaks her heart. And a part of her is extremely relieved that at least that piece of him is still there.
Without thinking about it, Alex rises to, her clothing rumpled from travel and from the forest and from sleeping in it. Richard Strand would never be caught dead looking like this and she knows it. It’s just another way that he’s still like himself even if he’s not exactly himself. Alex just puts her hand on his cheek again and without thinking at all about it, or why she’s doing it she just presses her lips to his own.
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They understand why the garden happened, why God loved them. Jealousy gave way to understanding. Azazel lets slip a foothold on it's inhumanity and the two souls merge tighter but Richard-
Richard wraps Alex in his arms and kisses her softly, deeply. He nuzzles against her when he pulls back, his forehead pressed against hers.
"I've waited at least two years to do that." His voice is hoarse, soft and hoarse, "Semantics aside, details aside, circumstances aside. No matter what happens. You feel so right in my arms."
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This was a line that they're danced near crossing, one step forward, two steps back, their toes hanging over the edge of it like high divers about to leap before they end up chickening out and drawing back. There were reasons for it of course, so many reasons like the show and their professional ethics and everything else.
But none of those matter now, and she just wraps her arms around his neck.
"Yes. We waited too damned long." She knew why. He knew why. But now Alex and Richard don't need to wait. Pressing her lips against his again, she just whispers: "I love you."
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Could he thank his sires? Both of them? One who hated and the other who loved humanity? He shoved it out of his mind. He was Richard fucking Strand. Born to Marilyn and Howard Strand November 1rst All Saint's Day. He wanted to be Spock when he was little and even if he was somehow gifted with demon abilities now-
"I love you too."
-He was him.
"...When this is all over we should go away."
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"We can check and see if they have anything downstairs, but I wouldn't hold my breath. There's a larger city about twenty minutes from here, I saw it on the map last night. We should be able to find you some clothes you'd like there and it'd be a good place to regroup."
Remembering how things had gone yesterday, Alex can't help but to ask: "you said Warren knew we weren't on the plane. Can you still sense him? Can he still sense you?"
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Cocking his head to the side like an animal, Richard Strand looks up sharply, "...There are people nearby however who would serve our purpose. Including someone like me."
He pauses.
"A failure."
Turning to look at her, "...Here's where I need you. There are pieces of my memory that are returning...are you...is this...if we need to rescue someone. To investigate. You need to walk me through it for now.
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But Alex has always been good at investigating. She'd been good at digging out the secrets that even he had been trying to hide. It makes sense that she would need to take the lead on it for him. Of course at the moment she was hampered by the lack of a phone that had the internet, or a computer, but she could fix that. They could fix that.
So, Alex just nods at him and then she gestures to the table. "Tell me what you know while you're eating, Richard. I think eating will help too. Maybe not as much as the sleeping did, but you've never been particularly good at being hangry so."
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Yes. He stares at his hands and then nods slowly. What does he like to eat? What is his favorite food because that might help. Looking at her he tilts his head at her and nods slowly, very very slow.
"...Pancakes?"
He tries not to sound like a child as he says it, adjusting his rumpled tie and shirt, "And can we find some place with better clothing?"
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The mention of clothing brought an amused smile to her face that Alex tried desperately not to make. After all, he always wore long sleeves and wore a suit when they'd gone traipsing through the woods to the cabin and the sign that he was coming back to himself before was when he'd taken off the flannel and put the suit back on.
"Yeah, we'll find you some clothing. Considering Warren can track you through your mind, it probably doesn't matter if we use our credit cards or whatever. Can you still do the thing with the car?"
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He smiles a nasty smile before he shakes it off, "...I don't want to but. Anything. Electrical or anything that requires a spark."
He tugs at his shirt before adjusting his glasses and looking back at her, "Clothes first. Than I can tell you where we go."
Post breakfast and purchasing a shirt and tie he leads her to a small french village and orders her to stop in front of a small shop - throwing a hand across her chest just as the car stops.
"We're too late."
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Despite the hand on her chest, Alex looks at the building, tilting her head and leaning forward in order to see the building through the windshield. It looks like a normal small shop that you'd find in any small village. It doesn't seem like there's anything out of the ordinary to her, but she does trust Richard, and she does think that he wouldn't have her stop for no reason. "What's going on?"
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"...Don't go in there."
He clenches his fists, "We should turn back."
The door creaks open blowing in the wind, revealing the darkness beyond.
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Once it would have been Simon, but Alex still thinks that he set her up for all of this, and it's starting to become even more evident considering that Richard needs her to remember to how to be human as well as how to find humans.
Her hand is on the door handle already, and Alex's other one undoes the seatbelt that she was wearing.
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He sounds sad. Genuinely sad.
"There's a lot of blood. Maybe this was a mistake." He hesitates, "Maybe I shouldn't have you help because I-"
He cocks his head to the side, "...He's still here." His gaze alights on the forest and he looks at her, staring through her, "...He. He's waiting for us."
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But, she was supposed to be there, and she was supposed help him. So, Alex just lets out a deep breath before she softly asks: "who's inside? Is it Simon?" Because blood and Simon seemed to make sense, even if the other details of it didn't really fit with what he'd do.
But there was another question. "What does he want?"
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He points, "It's not Simon. It-"
His eyes open and fade to black almost instantly, "...It's someone holding Simon hostage."
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A house filled with blood that's definitely bait for the two of them. Because of course it was.
Peering into the house as if she could see who had Simon, Alex's hand still twitches against the door handle. She wants to open it. While Alex may not have much of a sense of self-preservation, she does have some and she knows that this is probably a terrible fucking idea. But more than that, Alex has empathy and Simon has been someone who'd she'd thought was... maybe not a friend but someone who was helping her out and who had her (and the world's) better interests at heart.
Which is why Alex just says: "we can't just leave him in there."
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Did he read her mind? That she's worried about Simon? It's hard to tell. It's open to consideration, it's something Richard when he was fighting his demon side would have called apophenia.
Now he braces himself and his skin pales a visible shade as his eyes go black.
"There is something...lingering there. But we're not going in the house." He turns his gaze to the forest before looking at her with that unsettling black demonic gaze. His lips press together, "...It'd be stupid to tell you not to come with me. Just - if we can get him away. Get justice. Be ready to run."
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A hybrid who was very much the person that this thing wants. Alex isn't an idiot, she's aware that her place in all of this is only because she'd forced her way inside of it, practically with some sort of crowbar. Even if she's one of the kids (which Alex still doesn't know if she believes) she doesn't have the Strand name, and the Mantle of the Dragon and everything else that he does. He's got fifty years fighting a demon before Richard gave up because of her.
And now he's saying something like this. Alex just shakes her head quickly, her concern evident. She just takes a deep breath for a moment and then her frown hardens even further, because Alex Reagan is definitely stubborn if nothing else. "No. 'Getting justice' sounds entirely too much like goodbye. They're expecting us to come in all guns blazing, right? They're prepared for a fight?"
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His hands clench and he turns back to the forest, "I would suggest we run, but if you think-"
He wants to run. He wants to run off toward the forest and kill, to sink his teeth in and rip and fight and the desire is so strong he grips the car and squeezes at it. It is powerful.
Reason. Richard Strand would use reason. Richard Strand would not howl and run into the forest with claws drawn and teeth out.
"Alex."
His voice is small and soft.
"...will you hold my hand?"
He doesn't open his eyes.
"This needs structure and reason and if I go now I'll rip the bastards apart."
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Her hand is soft on his cheek. "The best thing that you can do when it comes to any of this stuff is be unexpected. Warren never thought that you would fuse Richard and Azazel, right? He expected Azazel to win." Because of course Warren would, there was no way he'd think that Richard would have won, or worse, that he would have done this where the two of them have come into an entirely different balance.
"If we go up there together, charging like we're trying to save Simon's life, it puts whatever we're dealing with in a position of power. The last thing that it needs is more than that when it comes to us."
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Is this peace? He doesn't know. He relaxes by hairs before opening his black eyes to look at her.
"...So you're suggesting we make them come to us?"
Because he is very confused.
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Alex just sighs. "I'm not a general, I wasn't supposed to lead any armies, I'm just a pesky reporter who stumbled into all of this. But the one thing I can do is talk. And maybe I can talk whoever this is out of whatever just long enough for Simon to bilocate out."
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