11calls | IC Contact

Quiet for the most part. And I’m both reading the Lord of the Rings and trying to figure out how to port my fluid into the radio station console because the music from the 1950s is a whole thing that I am already getting a little sick of it honestly.

What’s unnerving about the students?

[He leans forward - before stopping and getting up to make himself some tea. When he returns it's with two cups of his favorite green tea inhaling the scent of it.]

You talked to the little boy too?

It's that there are so many children here without parents. The locales hate me. They're far too focused on my lessons though. They hate me but they're just...looking at me.

[He shakes his head.]

It's fine. Until I figure out what's going on with me I'd rather be working on my own. Talk to a few people I've spoken with who believe psychic ability is a biological process. Not a supernatural one.

[This is so hard. She can probably see his fingers trembling because after what happened to her... There is genuine fear pouring off him.]

...Not just a supernatural one. Because if it is also a biological process there may be a way...some kind of biological process to stop. Deva. And all of them. Science defeating the supernatural.

[It's instinctive, moving to reach for her hand.]

[Alex agrees about they're being so many kids without parents here, they'd talked about it before and how much it'd bothered her. It's something that's still going to bother her honestly, for as long as the kids were there and things kept happening to them.

And it feels like more things are going to happen to them too. Alex had told Ben that he should add extra food and matches to the pack, and she'd done the same to both of theirs, even if Richard hadn't noticed yet. But there was definitely coffee and a small pan and the like. You know, just in case.

This place feels like a lot of just in cases.

But when he reaches for her hand, Alex's is already there, her fingers entwining with his own an she gives it a little squeeze. She can feel the fear tracing through the bond that the two of them have and reflexively, Alex puts her palm against his cheek.]

I mean, it makes sense. It's probably why Warren stole your coffee cup. And Coralee said that he was after your genetics and your family.

I feel like a fool. Denying it for so long.

[He leaned into her touch before tracing her own cheek. And then he pulls away to stare at his tea.]

Probably confirming that I'm some kind of freak. At least here we have a chance to be prepared.

Maybe magic really is science we don't understand. I think I ought to ...approach this place from that standpoint. Because accepting this means that I'm potentially a danger to people and I do not want that..

[He inhales.]

I bring this up, because there's something I need to talk to you about once-

[The doorbell rings and he rises.]

Dinner is over.

Richard...

[Alex just sighs his name for a moment before she waits for him to come back in with the pizza box. While he's doing that, she grabs plates and wine and a corkscrew and glasses. Whatever he wants to talk to her about, Alex knows that it's heavier than tea is, and she doesn't want to break into the scotch yet. So, instead it's a nice bottle of red, poured into two glasses before she settles back down.

As soon as they have privacy, and he's settled back down too, Alex takes his hand again, before he can open up the pizza box.]

Listen to me. I don't think you're a freak. Do I think that there's definitely a good possibility that you are in fact psychic? Yes, but you knew that already. Do I think that here is a good place to try and work on accepting that and using it? Yes, I do. I mean, we've got this chance away from Warren and everything else, and I think you should use it to explore it and control it.

But I don't think you're a danger. I don't think that's how it works.

You've seen the people here.

[And now this is just plain selfishness. When he sees the red wine he sits.]

Plus I'm supposed to end the planet or the universe. I'm not sure which but I'm also...not sure how.

[He runs a hand through his hair.] I'm not a good man Alex but I don't want to hurt people. It's hard not to think of myself as a freak.

At least until I understand what this is.

Don't say that you're not a good man, Richard, because you may believe it but I definitely don't. I never have. I think you're an asshole sometimes, and rude beyond belief, but that doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you a rude asshole. That's it.

[Alex takes his hand again, her eyes boring into him in the same way that they always did, alight with the believe that both of them would rather that she could deny. Alex can't deny it--she never could-- but it's the same level that she believes in what she's saying to him.]

Whatever Warren wants you for, whatever he wants you to do? You have a choice in it otherwise I'm sure he would have forced you to do it already. And I believe in you, Richard Strand. I believe that when the time comes to make that choice, you aren't going to chose to the end world. You're not going to chose to be who he wants you to be. You're still going to be you: the rude asshole who I love.

That's what I believe.

[Chose to be the rude asshole that I love. not chose to end the world.

What does Warren want him to do. To end the world. To be the dragon to open the door. He realizes he's dreamed of it now and she loves him. This monster that he is.]

...It's...so reassuring. Being your rude asshole.

[But his voice is full of tenderness as he looks at her. You keep me grounded Alex. You keep me who I am. I don't know how I ever did this without you.]

You're the first person who'd ever said something like that to me. Telling me that I have a choice.

[He inhales, taking a bite of pizza.]

Alex I have to tell you about something you said as a child. And I -I will not be able to apologize enough for how I treated you it's been a long time since I played with a five year old.

[You broke his heart in so many ways.]

[Alex just chuckles when he says that it's reassuring, but it's kindly a little mirror of the huffy laugh that Strand makes just for her. She's never heard him make it with anyone else and has considered it 'her laugh' for a very long time now. But there's a sadness in it, because she can't imagine ever being told that he doesn't have a choice in anything. Even sadder still, Alex knows that he's right and his choices had always been stripped away. His father, Coralee, even Alex herself to some extend had done it.

But he changes the subject before she can say anything about it, and instead she just frowns for a moment, taking a bite of the pizza herself.]

I don't even remember it, honestly. I mean, I know it happened of course but I don't remember anything about it. I'm sure you were fine though, Richard.

I told you about my imaginary friend when I was a child.

[He offers his own soft laugh in response, studying her with a smile. He's never heard that chuckle before. He wants to hear it again.

So.]

He was a dragon. My father was ...cold and cruel and my dreams began to reflect that - until I dreamed up my own ...special dragon friend.

[Yes it's cute.]

His name was Piggles. And I was a lonely little boy despite Cheryl - she had large groups of friends and I was sort of odd but Cheryl accepted ...the dragon I had let into my life and eventually when I got older and made friends of my own...whom you've met.

[He had at least tried to get in contact with Wayne via facebook. The man had a large and loving family and he seemed happy to try.]

And you...told me about your imaginary friend.

[Alex watches him with amusement, and she can't help but to echo the word that he'd said back to him, all of the humor and the smile evident as always within the tone of her voice.]

Piggles? Why Piggles? That's the most random name for a dragon that I've ever heard!

[Alex laughs again, but in some ways it's like an armor against her thoughts and the letters that she'd found hidden in the frame of the painting that she'd dropped at Howard's house. The Mantle of the Dragon. They both know that it's a thing, and that Tiamat is the dragon and just... Alex isn't making that connection through almost brute force.

But then she frowns, her nose squiggles upwards and her face is entirely made of confusion.]

I don't... I don't ever remember having an imaginary friend. I mean, the therapist who my parents took me to after my adoption became final said that it was a normal trauma reaction, and that I was very young when it happened. My first real memories are almost sort of waking up in my room at my parents house.

[That had been his thought. Piggles had been huge, green and blue and gold and friendly. He vividly remembered that. Green and gold like the trees, blue like the ocean and as solid and as grounded and...

HE would have to give the dragon more thought after this.]

You did tell me.

[He moved to take her hands.]

You told me about a friend you had. You called him Paul.

[He focused his gaze on her. Ready for anything. To catch her, hold her.]

You said. He was unnaturally long limbed...and tall.

What?

[Alex just breathes the word quickly, staring at him openly as she does so. In her memory, Alex can hear her first conversation with Sebastian Torres. How it was okay for him to talk about his imaginary friend with her because she can see him too. The phrase had given Alex nightmares for weeks after the cabin and after Tannis Brain had booked it and she stood before the familiar drawings. you can see him too. The words repeat in Alex’s brain and she just whispers to him aloud: ]

‘You can see him too.’ That’s what Sebastian said when I met him. ‘You can see him too.’ Sebastian wanted to know why I was following him, and said that I didn’t want to meet him but then his mother cut him off. It didn’t seem important at the time...

I...

[Alex just crumples forward, towards him and she’s shaking with fear. Her whole body and their bond is on fire with it, and her breathing is harsh and irregular. ] I don’t remember, Richard. Why don’t I remember?

[He moves forward to wrap his arms around her. He scoots his chair to sit beside her and hold her in his arms. He pours as much strength and support as he can into their bond feeling right for the first time since all of this because He is being a good leader and this is Alex.

His chest hurts for her. Cupping her cheek and meeting her gaze.]

I don't know.

[And he holds her against him.]

Cheryl and I remembered because I got it on video tape.

[He is lying and she might be able to sense that. He's always seen them. He sees them all the time he saw them in Braun's cabin, he sees them everywhere and they keep his distance.]

Maybe something happens as an adult. All this tells me Alex is that you and I were meant to find each other.

[He meets her gaze]

That we were meant to be together.

[He may meet her gaze, but he can't hold it. Alex goes perfectly still after she lowers her eyes, other than the violent shivering that she has no control over. Tears fill her closed eyes and then they edge over her lashes, drawing a thin line of black with them as they do it.

He's lying, Richard is lying and they both know it. Alex knows it as clearly as she knows that he believes that they were meant to find one another because of this, that they were meant to be together, but he's still lying.

She just whispers the words when she speaks, and it feels like a long time after he'd said those words and they ring in Alex's ears. ]

You're lying. Even after you promised there'd be no more secrets between us. You're still lying about seeing them. You've seen them. The cabin where they found Sebastian, Simon... Where else?

[Alex raises her eyes and her voice rises a little in pitch as she desperately asks:]

Is that one of the reasons you were avoiding me so much over the last year? Because you can see them around me?

[damn it damn it damn it. Damn this stupid ridiculous bond God he'd been so happy. It was so normal...

What do you do with something like that.

Tell her the truth. Tell her the truth because if you do not you will lose her and you will not get her back.

And what if that's for the best? How can a boy who befriends dragons give anyone anything good?

The truth.

He has to try damn it. He could compel her to obey to forget and the thought appeals but he...

The truth.]

Only after you started having problems sleeping. They...swarmed.

[his hands are rigid and he looks unbearably sad before in an effort to try and explain he withdraws and stares at her - truthful and sincere.]

I didn't think about it because I've always seen them they congregate in the shadows around me all the time. I thought...I thought they would go away in time because they only...they only...

I don't know! I'm sorry. This is why I don't believe I try and make it not real I was trying to protect you.

[he pulls away but moves to hold her hands. He is genuinely contrite. Genuinely panicked.]

You were gone for so long. And I wasn't sleeping. And they were there.

[Alex is shaking and she's crying silently, but she doesn't pull away from him, even if she doesn't look at him. She can feel his panic and his grief through the bond, but all it does is fuel hers all the more. With her chest rising and falling so rapidly, and her pulse thudding in her ears, Alex is very aware that she's having a panic attack. Dr. Bernier wasn't good for much, but she was good for somethings, and Alex is trying the grounding techniques she'd taught her. Five things you can see: Richard's eyes on hers. The wine glasses in front of them, the pizza, the panic in him... Four things you can feel: The chair beneath her. The sensation of her arms on the table. His hands on hers. Her hands on his. Three things you can hear: her breath, Richard's voice. The sound of the clock from the living room. Two things that you can smell: Richard, all musk and old books. Her own scent of coffee and rain. .One thing that you can taste: the wine and the pizza below the adrenaline bitterness in her mouth.

But it works, Alex is a bit calmer and she just softly says:]

I don't know what to say, Richard. I really don't know what to say to that. Are they... Are they around us now?

No.

[And he's not lying. The two of you living in a shared delusion is almost cute. There is a darker part of him that speaks at that. Seeing things that aren't there.

He keeps.his hands on hers. They don't need to be connected for him to pick up on her anxiety. You were gone for so long...

He files that away with textbook skill before kissing her cheek. It's such a boyish stupid gesture in his mind, like something he'd do to calm his mother during one of her attacks that his cheeks go pink.]

These are different shadows. There's nothing in them.

[Yet. And even if there were...the pauls had never hurt him. They just had malicious intentions. Looking back as an adult he'd thought it was just the machinations of a small boy and his sister. Children fearing something they didn't understand.

As an adult however he stood armored with science and facts and stared them down because if he didn't he would...he would have done what with them? What could he do with them why did they pick him to stalk. Charlie had seen them but they picked him to surround like valets at attention...

They weren't getting him. Or Alex.]

I won't offer you empty platitudes Alex. You're too smart for that.

I will say that whatever intention the entities have they have never harmed me. Or anyone I love. Just...scared the hell out of them. So if they appear to you or anyone I will...exert what little will I have over them.

[he's not sure, and in his mind he sounds ridiculous but if he's able to do these things and they follow him and they've never left him then...

He goes over that statement. Have? Will? He has no control over any of that. Its a lie.

Right?]

I doubt yelling at then will do much but they won't hurt you or anyone. Not while I'm here.

[For a long moment, Alex is just quiet. She's deep in thought but there's a ghost of the smile when he kisses her cheek. Alex mulls over what they'd known about the children who see the shadows, the ones who were old enough to talk about them anyway. Sebastian hadn't been scared. Simon... was Simon about it. Of course he was Simon about it. But it goes with what Richard was saying about how they never harmed him or the people that he loved.

Charlie had seen them too, it went without saying, and Alex knows it. Alex had joined a weird little band and she doesn't remember any of it. She doesn't remember having a childhood friend who was a demon, and she doesn't remember her mother or the life that Alex had led with her before the Child Protective services had gotten involved. She doesn't know why it changed when the Reagans took her in (it might have changed before all that, of course, but Alex doesn't know and instead she just latches onto her parents as a savior as Alex always did.) but she knows that when she felt loved, she didn't need the shadows.

The Torres family had been fighting and a shambles, Simon's parents had fed them to him. Just like Maddie Franks had done to Robbie, and something had happened to Katie Yi. The Strands were of course the Strands, and Charlie had lost her mother.

When Alex speaks, it's soft and what they had talked about after the files on Hausdorff had been found and Richard didn't dismiss them any more.]

Watchers. Pilori. They don't need to hurt us because that's not their job.

[She sounds miserable. She sounds certain.]

It's before someone opens the door for us, like they did with Simon and Robbie. Only no one did. Not for me, not for you, not for Charlie and and not for Cheryl. So, they're still waiting.

[It's the term open the door. that makes him stop and freeze. He doesn't mean to sound angry. There's no anger in the bond, there's only fear and then acceptance. Sad acceptance.]

Open the door.

Like what I'm supposed to do.

[That doesn't change that he sounds angry.]

So without doing something and making the right choice I've potentially condemned you to suffer - because of my choices.

[No. No way in hell. Not Cheryl. Not Charlie. Not Alex. Especially now. There's just determination.

His smile is sarcastic.]

Kind of puts what Coralee did to me ...kind of makes it worse doesn't it.

[Or should he have listened?]

You're not going to do it.

[Alex insists quickly, looking at him as she does it. She shifts so that she's facing him again, and she lets go of his hands and wraps them around her face.]

You're not going to make that choice, Richard. I know you. If it's us, if it's me versus the rest of the world and opening the door and letting the demons into the world? I'd rather suffer for it. I'm sure everyone else would to. I don't even remember what it was like, alright? I don't remember. But I know that you're not going to damn the world. And you're not going to do whatever the hell else Warren wants. You're too stubborn for that.

[A pause, and Alex's voice is softer:]

What Coralee did is unconscionable. She... I don't know. But she should have stopped it. I don't care that she loved you. I don't care that she still loves you. She's the worst and she shouldn't have taken away your choices, and she shouldn't be trying to take them away now.

[He cupped her cheek and drew her in for a kiss at that. It's soft and gentle and he sits back with a sad little laugh.]

Forget Hades and Persephone, you're my damned stubborn champion. My knight in shining armor.

[He folds his hands.] Alex you should watch for them. Even if you've never had abilities, we should watch for them here. There is always the possibility this child might be affected by them.

[The thought of Sodder always comes with finding her. With freeing her, and there is something about the notion that makes him sick. His head instantly starts pounding and he slumps in his chair visibly pained.]

I need to lie down. Thinking about that child makes me sick. It's like someone is driving spikes into my head.

...I think we need to take a two man approach to this. I'll focus on my...gifts and studying them and the library and you...

Please. Please don't do anything reckless. Please.

[Alex just frowns as she reaches over and touches his forehead, trying to soothe it with her cool hands. But she frowns a bit, thinking about it.]

Okay, so I think you need to stop thinking about Sodder. Maybe it's something involved with the being here or the connection to the world that overwhelms whatever gift you have. Like trying to connect something meant for a double A to a car battery.

[But she does frown:]

That's what you want me to do? Not be reckless? Really? What am I supposed to do here? Everything here is a risk.

Contrary to what people might think, I don't like the idea of children being held against their will and if I could find her...

[Bile rises up at the back of his throat and he slams to his feet and bolts for the bathroom without a second thought. He pukes up the rest of dinner and instantly feels better before he shakes his head, leaning against the wall.]

Seems stupid to have superpowers and not...be able to use them.

[But the moment Alex speaks he glares at her.]

Try to use any instinct of self preservation you have. Please. Blackwood and Sims and the rest of them may...

[His stomach churns. Be morally bankrupt. Be ridiculous. Be absolutely inexplicably...strange]

...have more of an idea in time. About how to go about this.

[Alex follows him to the bathroom, and she frowns before filling him a glass of water. It feels like they're doing this a lot and every connection that they seem to have to that is the mention of Sodder.]

I get that you want to help! [Alex honestly thinks that even when he was being his most skeptical, and his most antagonistic it was because he wanted to help the people that were dealing with the sorts of things that he'd casually admitted that they were real.]

But clearly you can't help her. Not now, not like this. Clearly thinking about it is doing this. Cause and effect, Richard. So your choices are to keep trying and spend all of your time puking your guts out with a pounding headache or worse.

[Alex doesn't want to think about the worst. As a matter of fact, she tries not to think about the worst, which of course means that it's permeating through her brain and their link. She pictures him braindead, or something else as bad as a stroke only magically inclined in nature. This place has magic and they both know it. And it's clear that this aspect of it is bad for him.]

We'll figure it out then. But until then, I'm going to be me, Richard. And if you want me then you get all of me not just the pieces that you like!

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