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[He nodded.]

As soon as I know. As soon as I understand what this is. I hope I'll be more than a useless mess. But I won't...

[He nodded] I'll turn my mind from that.

Alex have you ever thought you have some skill like this?

What?

[Alex just blinks at the question. Even with what the two of them were talking about, even knowing what they knew now about her having been able to see Paul, Alex never considered that she might have other things involved with that.]

There’s no way I’m psychic. I mean. If I was it would have come out already. I believed in all of that all along. It’s not as if I’ve been like. Blocking it or something, you know?

[Like Richard himself had been.]

Worth seeing if there's a correlation.

[His laugh is a little sad.]

Every time I thought of using this he'd hurt me Alex. You can't blame me for not being willing to embrace it.

That's natural. Right?

[For a moment Alex just looks entirely stricken and she covers her mouth with her hand. ]

Shit, Richard I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn’t. My brain isn’t fully working right now.

[Nobody is. Nobody does, but the truth is that he has never owned that before.

Staring it in the face he inhales and when he speaks he's not angry. There's just a resolute oh.

His first thought is that he wants to take a walk, to run, but Alex is the only person who has ever been there for him wholly and utterly. He can't run.]

Everyone here demanding my time and energy and asking - ordering, demanding that I believe. That young man Martin and his ...what is Sims to him anyway? Husband?

[The way he reacts it makes sense, but Richard continues] All of the kids.

Took all of that to make me confront the fact that he took that from me.

[His voice trails off before he stares at her looking lost.]

...Just. More to process. Which is fine at least I have time. And it's ...good to acknowledge it because if something happened...

[He brushes it off.]

I just never vocalized it before. We're both learning a lot about ourselves here. Which is good.

[He sighs] And now I really do think. We should sleep. Or at least consider sleep.

Edited 2020-05-10 03:57 (UTC)

[Alex doesn't think she's ever going to go to sleep again, but she does give him a smile and a little nod, before she just reaches over and wraps her arms around him. It's not anything sexual, it's a hug because she's pretty sure at this point that both of them need one. She knows that she does, and Alex suspects that he does too. It's a hugging sort of thing, really.]

I think they're like us, actually. Back home something, and something else here. When I met Martin he was at the lake, thinking about stealing some water because he's worried about Jon hurting himself somehow. I can relate. And I'm sure you can too. But we have time, and I think things will get easier.

[It's not as if things were going to get any less impossible here, and there's no going back from it while they're still in Deerington. There just isn't. Not for anyone, it's part of something that seems ingrained to the very fabric of the town.]

[He returns the hug like a desperate child before pulling away.]

Just one foot in front of the other.

I can do that.

You can, Richard. I promise you can. And I definitely will help. I’m good at that.

I'm holding you to this too.

[He focuses on her.]

We have to look out for each other.

We do. We will. You've got me, Richard. You always have. Whatever this new thing is, whatever the hell this place is or does?

[Alex just takes his hand and presses it against her heart, her eyes on his and her face entirely serious. It's clear that Alex means this with everything inside of her.]

In here, where it matters the most: you've got me, okay? That's not going to change. If me trying to make it change for a year doesn't do it, then nothing well. I'm kind of a whole force to be reckoned with. [It's softly said, a gentle tease at herself.] And if I can't do it, nothing will.

[I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you as a friend, as a colleague, as anything

It's so strange that he thinks of her as a colleague now. As someone just as capable as he is. He holds her close and shakes his head.]

...I'll try and behave myself just for you.

Good.

[ Alex just grins up at him with that, her eyes sparkling. It’s on the tip of her tongue to say something flirty but now is definitely not the time for it. So instead what she says is way more important. Because even if she’s not going to sleep, she knows that Richard needs it. Badly. Probably even more than she does right now.

So, she just gives him a little bit of a tug towards his bedroom. ]

Come on, love. You need to try and get some sleep.

[Being called Love is so nice.

That hasn't happened since Coralee. And she never meant it.

Allowing himself to be led, he leans against her shoulder as they do, snuggling against her.]

Thank you.

Of course. Just try and sleep, love.

[Alex just curls against him, her fingers in his hair as she hums softly. It's a sort of wordless lullaby, but it's pleasant, as she holds him against her.]

Edited 2020-05-12 13:53 (UTC)

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CW: Mentions of Child Abuse.

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