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There was a sense of anticipation in the air that Alex doesn't like one damned bit. It feels too familiar to her, too similar to the way that the world felt after Coralee and Warren, after they'd learned about the Axis Mundae. It had been days since she'd seen Strand, it feels like and Alex missed him. After their fight when she'd gotten back from Turkey, things had been better. Or at least they'd seem better to Alex once he'd gotten his anger out of his system, once he'd used Coralee's name and the nature of his relationship with her as a blunt weapon that was swung whenever the two of them had become too close.
But the thing of it was that Alex hadn't done anything this time. There'd been no fights, nothing that had caused him to pick up his toys and stomp off home as he had so many times before. There was nothing wrong other than the fact that Richard was gone. Her calls were sent to voicemail, her texts and emails went unanswered and even calling Ruby wasn't helpful in the slightest. Not that it ever really was when Alex needed to deal with his broad punk wall of an assistant.
So, she just tried to continue on as normal, as if he was just taking a break outside the room. Throwing herself into her work is second nature for Alex, but Nic had decreed that the studio needed to be empty by ten in order for Alex to get some sleep. It never worked for her of course--Alex just took the work home and spread it on her coffee table. A fresh brewed cup of coffee from her french press had been made and Alex was still sitting on the floor with her back to her couch as she went over everything that she had with a pen in her hand and a heavily filled notebook at her side.
Granted, due to the fact that she was home, Alex was wearing comfortable pajamas: an old and well-loved pnws shirt that had been hers since she’d been an intern (complete with a hole on the collar) and a pair of old boxer shorts that had never belonged to anyone but her—they fit her too well for that. With the heavy makeup that Alex normally wore to hide the dark circle under her eyes, they’re prominent and so is the smattering of freckles across her face. Her hair is still damp from the shower, and tied up into a messy bun at the base of her neck. With Nic gone in Russia and all of her friends having been pushed away due to work, Alex wasn’t expecting company. She definitely wasn’t expecting Richard considering she always went to his father’s house or came to the studio. Oh, she knows he knows where she lives (Alex has pointed out her apartment building more than once) but him coming to her seems entirely laughable at this point.

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To see her as a romantic partner. Especially with the stigma it carried. She's young enough to be my daughter, she's young enough to be one of my students... Fuck it. As long as you acknowledge it you can take care of it Richard.
It was hard not to admit it was a little intriguing. A little wild, stoking the flames in his mind. The fire in his loins.
Cupping her cheek, he kisses her back, practiced kisses, commanding ones, one hand sliding down her back before he...pulls back and breathes.
"...I don't know if I have the stamina for that yet." He laughed weakly, "I'm sorry. I really am verging on drunk. I was hoping to quiet the thoughts of others. Speaking of which, the delivery boy is downstairs."
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And it probably went without saying that she doesn't sleep with people who might be too drunk to actually consent to sleeping with her, because that's not Alex's style by any means. She wants people who want her because they want her, and not because the amount of liquor within their bloodstream tells them that it's what they want.
"Stay here, I'll grab it." Alex just raises onto her feet and toes herself into her ballet flats. Flipping he bolt so that she doesn't end up looking herself out, she can't help but to give him a broad and teasing grin: "if I was intent on seducing you, Richard. You'd definitely know it. I'll be right back." And then her feet just thundered down the steps behind her.
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When she returns with the sushi he ignores the curl in his stomach that she found out all the wrong stuff before the right stuff in his mind."
"Favorite color, Favorite Movie, and Favorite...Item."
He spreads a hand over her apartment, smiling.
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Alex just hands him his food and a pair of chopsticks and leans next to him on the couch as she digs into her own order of food. “Red. Always has been since I was a kid. Used to drive my mom crazy because I wanted a red bedroom. When I painted the bedroom in my first apartment she almost had a heart attack. Turns out she was actually right and it was a little intense for sleeping. And that was even before I was as bad as I have been.” Taking a bite of sushi and chewing it she just considers. “For a movie it’s probably a tie between like Superman and His Girl Friday. I have always been very into movies with women reporters in them. I used to really want to be Lois Lane honestly. Only without so much of a damsel in distress. That’s not so much my style.”
Which is probably an understatement considering how trouble Alex gets herself into on a regular basis. But she normally tends to get herself out of it too.
“As for item...” Alex just pauses and her nose twitches a bit. “Is it cheating to say my French press? Because it probably is my French press honestly. One of the few things I can’t live without but.” She knows that’s not why he’s asking. “There’s a painting that my grandpa did of my grandma in my bedroom. I really love it. He was someone who wanted to be an artist when he was younger but his parents made him go into something more practical. He still loved to do it though, and my grandma was always his favorite subject. She’s holding me really soon after my parents first adopted me.”
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He resists that though. He's old and he has to deal with that. He's apparently dealing with an ancient demonic god. He's psychic. Swallowing his sushi he considers the answers to his questions - reversed, because that's the way the game is played.
"Blue Green. My mother had these blue green eyes. It was a strange color. My father always said my eyes were an...aberration. He had brown eyes. Cheryl has brown eyes. I'm the only blue eyed one in my family."
It pleased him. Richard remembered that. His father was pleased with him, with his intelligence and his unnatural colored eyes. He wanted nothing to do with his father's attempts at family bonding.
"Favorite movie is easy. Alphaville by Jean Luc Godard. A profound exploration of the individual. It's perfect." he smiles, and then his smile softens, "I have Charlie's old baby blanket in my office." She left it behind when she had moved with her grandparents.
He shrugs, "...It's preserved but it's one of the few things I have of hers. Now you ask me three questions."
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Three questions, but not the questions that Alex would have asked him under different circumstances. Work boundaries have fortified walls wrapped around them, because she knows that this isn't what it's about. So, instead she too goes with the sort of thing that one might ask on a first date, because isn't this what really is in it's own way? For all of the times that they'd had meals before, and meals definitely peppered with Alex's questions, this is most assuredly a first date for two people who were already in love.
So, simplicity. "Favorite song, the comfort food that you'd have if you could have anything else in the world, and favorite number." The corners of Alex's smile turn up a bit though when she adds: "but if you say Pi to like a hundred places I will definitely steal your mochi."
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"Song is a toss up." He chews thoughtfully, "It's either Beethoven's Erocia - or. It's Manhattan by Ella Fitzgerald." He takes a sip of wine, "...Comfort food is easy. Chocolate covered almonds. And number is probably 11."
It slips out, and he's completely heedless, "It's a perfect number. One denotes positivity and optimism. It's authoritative, and represents the authority. Having it appear in your life as an angelic number means things are out of balance and it's time to address unequal forces in your life. It signifies great change. There are 11 things supposed to be witnessed by John the Baptist in conjunction with the end of the world."
He smiles, then looks at her nonplussed, "...So. Now you. And then follow it up with Book, class in school, and...Oh pick something you want to know about me."
The wine is kicking in, making the alcohol worse as he smiles at her lazily. He could sit like this for hours."
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"Comfort food is easy for me too, but it's a tossup. For like an actual sort of meal thing, mac and cheese. The homemade kind with like the crunchy breadcrumbs on the top. And Ben and Jerry's Half Baked. Even when I have nothing else in my freezer, I've got it and coffee. Because some days you just need to eat a pint of ice cream and call it dinner." More often than she would like to, but not enough to care about it.
"My favorite number is twenty-three. Probably because it's my birthday rather than any other pretentious sort of meaning attached to it." It's teasing, of course, but it's light. "Book varies based on mood, but one of the ones that I always find myself rereading when I can is A Tale of Two Cities. Even if Dickens was writing by the word and definitely needs an editor like crazy. I like The Moonstone too, and Emma by Austen. Subject in school was easy, English of course. I'm really terrible at math." And then she just goes easy, but also very important: "Favorite ice cream flavor? Because if it's Half Baked it might be fisticuffs at dawn over the last pint."
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When she mentions mac and cheese however he smiled, "I know you saw I was asked to be on the Chopped! podcast. What I do not know is if you ever saw the recipe I submitted to the food network when they asked for guest submissions."
He pulls out his phone and passes it to her. She'll note that his lock screen and home screen are generic, but the recipe is On the webpage.
His grin is cocky, "I make my own bread. Garlic bread? I crush my own garlic butter with it. It's delicious."
He smiles, "I could get used to ice cream.
He won't have time to. But he lets that slide, leaning against her, "You didn't ask me questions."
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"So you're going to need to do that when we get back." But that was it for the mentions of where they were going and what they were going to do. Instead she just bites at her lower lip for a second, considering what to ask next. But first a caveat: "So you know I can't cook so the only thing that I'm going to be able to say is coffee and nanaimo bars, but top three things to cook, top restaurant that you'd love to go to again, and your favorite date idea."
Which is important because Alex knows that she wants to know so that she can take notes, celebratory things and all of that when it's all over.
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An idea trickles into his mind. Like he's a child again, a teenager again, I could look into her mind. I could pick something she'd really want- but the notion is instantly dismissed. Even if Alex weren't Alex, it would be a violation the likes of which he would never be comfortable with.
That would take some getting used to. So he sits and thinks.
"My mother taught me how to make brioche. Quinoa and rice pilaf. And Ruby says I make a mean quesadilla."
Restaurant he'd love to go to again...
"Richard I'm afraid you're going to have to roll me back to the hotel." Coralee mimed flopping over in her chair. Music drifted in through the open windows and if they had taken the window table they could have seen the beach spread out beneath them, "That. Was delicious."
"Too busy rolling myself home." He moved to take her hands, "Come darling. Italy awaits us!"
"...There's a very fancy hole in the wall restaurant in Chicago that makes some of the best deep dish I've ever had. I'll go with that. But cooking is an art Alex. It's something truly special. When you find something that you like that you want in person. Anyone can make a pizza. If I tell you that I want to eat somewhere again, trust me. It's a good restaurant I'll come back to."
Oh god. And Date idea.
"...I haven't dated in a long time Alex..."
Just sexual encounters over work.
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But not for a while. Obviously. "And definitely deep dish pizza in Chicago too." But then it comes around to the whole dating thing, and Alex isn't surprised. She also wouldn't be surprised to hear about him sleeping with people at conferences or whatever. Richard Strand may have loved (may love) his wife, but he's also a sensual man in the way that he likes good things for his senses: his suits, his food, his tea, his wine. What is sex but something else that does that? And sex can definitely just be sex--it's what her and Amalia was last year before she just decamped to Nic because Nic was more fun to play with and was still half-in love with her.
Alex was more than half in love with someone else.
"I know, and that's okay. I just thought that there was something that you may have... I don't know. Thought of. Around me, I mean."
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But then. Along came Alex. Who just...did. Who did not plan. And she did plan...
I just thought that there was something you might have...I don't know. Thought of. Around me, I mean.
"Aren't all of our excursions dates?"
His smile doesn't fade, but his eyes go soft, "I'd cook you dinner. At my house." His home in Chicago swims into mind, "At my house in Chicago. The space that's mine."
That hands for a moment before he brushes it off, "Dinner or breakfast. Then we'd sight see. Millennium park, Buckingham Fountain. Then towards the end of the day there's this hole in the wall bookshop. I swear the guy has been there since time began. I found it years ago when I went prowling around the city with a group of friends and they left me there for a day. I was totally content. I stop in, buy books, you stop in, you possibly help me carry books home. And then we sit. Like this or not, and I read and you watch TV or whatever you...want to do in the evenings. But my bookshop is special to me, and I would...like you to see it one day."
Oh his mind is cracking. Just take it moment by moment Richard. His heart hurts, Better she lives. Better she gets to go to all those places..
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"We can always have breakfast for dinner," Alex suggests as a compromise, even though she does think breakfast AND dinner because if she's going to Chicago it's definitely not a day trip sort of plan. But it's easy for Alex to see it, the sites that her and Nic didn't when the two of them were there to interview both Emily Dumond and Richard himself. Alex traveled a lot, but the places that she went to weren't ones where she had the time or ability to just wander in the way that he was suggestion.
Alex has an active imagination, and it's easy for her to picture the date in her mind: the bookshop, carrying one book rather than a stack, and then ending up on his sofa like this. Well, not exactly like this, more like with her using his thigh as a pillow as he plays with her hair and they both read. Or he reads to her. She really should read more novels. But... "That sounds like a perfect date for the two of us, Richard. I'd love to see your bookstore. And your actual house, the one you chose and not..." Well, not Howard's obviously. "I didn't get a chance to before. Maybe that's what we should do: fly to Chicago instead of back here."
After, of course because everything is after.
"And honestly that sounds like the perfect date too. Well, with me it wouldn't be cooking because I don't think you'd like to meet the faces of my neighbors when I try and cook and burn something. But just you and me..." Alex gives him a grin. "On a better sofa I guess. Just having pizza from the place down by Pike's Place and having a wine and talking and just being us without you know..." All of the trappings of the show.
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Maybe we rent a boat. Or I'll sell my father's house and move the institute back to Chicago. Or I sell my house and move here. His house...would be better if you were there more. And you and I could argue and I could try to hopelessly entice you to the theater and read to you from other Dickens books and the Brontes and poetry and I can pretend for a little while that I haven't dragged you into the hell that's been my life for seven years old. We could go to Italy. Visit Charlie."
He paused, "...She approved of you."
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But she does tilt her head for a bit, with a smile. "She does? I'm really glad to hear it. It was something I worried about. Most people who call the studio to tell me to fuck off I can brush aside but when it's Charlie..." For a few reasons, and only one of them was because she was Richard's daughter.
"You know," Alex says softly, and she touches his cheek again, sitting up so that it's easier for her dark eyes to find his blue ones. "We can go wherever you want, do whatever you want. I know that for most of your life you haven't had a lot of choices Richard and when this is done I want you to have that option. If you want to get a boat and sail around the world, I'd like that. If you want me to come to Chicago, I'd like that too. And if you want to stay here it's fine. We're going to make it work no matter what happens. Because I'm not going anywhere. The only thing that's important to me, the only thing that matters is that when all of this bullshit with Warren is done, you and I are together, however that means." She means it, because of course Alex does.
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"...Can I try something? With you? Just an experiment." He pauses, "I want you to think. Of a place we can go. Just. Stay with me and think of that place and I'm going to...find out what it is."
This could go a lot more places, he realizes, but for now.
"Whatever this is, if we're going up against warren I need to know how to use it."
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So, Alex just takes a deep breath, and she clears her mind of other things. (Well for the most part anyway, Alex's brain is never very good about the 'one thought' sort of deal. Mindfulness had always been the most impossible therapy skill to learn.) One thing she knows is that she doesn't want it to be a place where anything from the Tapes had run through. That's not what this is about. Instead, she pictures a trip she'd taken when she was in college and had spent time at a small bed and breakfast in the Irish country side. It was a tiny hamlet, off the beaten path because when had Alex ever really done the beaten path.
It's a town by the sea, and there's a large back garden at the place with a rickety wooden swing on it. Alex just focuses on that swing and the scent of heather and lavender, and the sound of the winds in tall grasses outside of the stone fence.
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It's not supposed to work. None of this should work. This is ridiculous and pointless. Richard Strand should not be doing this, he should not be trying this...
But it comes, a hazy image of a swing and a smell of warmth and -
"Heather and Lavender? And..." He tilts his head, "A creaking - a chair? Or a swing. A swing and...stones"
That took effort but he breathes, and he knows he got it right. But.
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The feel of the cobblestones beneath bare feet as you sit on the swing. The way that it has the feel that old wooden swings always do that it might drop you, so there's danger mixed in with the excitement of each upward and downward movement as the tree that's older than your home country creaks and groans in protest of your weight. The tension of the old rope beneath your fists that you know is definitely older than you are and was woven together by hand rather than by machine.
A cup of Irish Breakfast sits on the little table next to the swing, it's color a murky gray-brown from the amount of sugar that you'd shoved into it. A scone with a bite out of it, light and fluffy like you've never had sits on a plate next to crumbs of the first one. Clotted cream, sweet and rich gives the scone a murky sort of glaze but the richness of it settles on your tongue, an indulgence like you've never had and you're not sure if you're ever going to be able to find anything like it again.
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And she is not beside him anymore.
Instead he is sitting there and not sitting there. He walks, in shoes, feeling the stones beneath his shoes, smelling the air and the grass, tasting the breakfast. He kneels beside it, actually tasting it. It's heady, he can feel the wind on his face, see it, smell the salt and the flowers and even feel like he's there...
Outwardly he is sitting very still before rolling slightly to his side. His eyes stay closed before they snap open - filmy and white.
He isn't so much pushed back as he is pulled. and he gasps - stomach rolling. The white film around his eyes is gone as he staggers to his feet.
"Move." When you are out of practice these things are hard to do. It's like lifting hundreds of pounds after years of languishing. Bolting to her bathroom he pukes up the sushi and the scotch and heaves until his stomach is empty lying there digesting what he had just done.
He had biolocated.
He had been in two places at once.
Curling back away from the toilet he rolls his head back, wrapping his arms around himself as he'd done as a child, unaware of anything else in the room.
But the taste of coffee stays on his tongue and the smell of grass lingers in his nose.
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As the veteran PNWS mama bear caretaker when people at office parties (and the PNWS office parties where interns are invited are a legend onto themselves) Alex has helped a lot of interns when they'd been sick. While he throws up, Alex just uses the time to grab a clean washcloth and went it with cool water, wringing it out so that she can place it on the back of his neck when he's wrapping his arms around himself. Alex also filled a cup with water, but she doesn't give it to him yet. Instead she knows that he needs a different form of comfort.
So Alex goes down onto her knees next to him and just wraps herself around him as much as she can, pulling him close to her chest so that she can stroke his head carefully. "It's alright, Richard. You're here with me. You're here with me and I've got you. You're here and you're safe and I've got you and I'm not letting go." There's comfort and reassurance in her voice, as well as the trademark Alex Reagan fierceness as well. She can't help it, if need be she'd fight Warren and anyone else for him.
Including the Goddess that Alex doesn't know is slowly slipping her claws into him.
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I should look for Charlie and Coralee it's a whisper through his mind that he ignores. He clings to Alex, leaning against her shivering visibly.
Do it
That same echoing female voice. His eyes widen and he stares at nothing before shaking it off.
Hello Richard. I've been waiting for you for a very, very long time.
The air drops several degrees around him and he stares at nothing - before wrapping a protective arm over Alex. It's draped across her and he laughs weakly. A genuine laugh.
"...So you've been to Ireland too?"
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A shiver moves through her that Alex can't help, and she doesn't understand why the room has gotten so cold. It's not like she has a window in the bathroom to let a draft in or something like that. It's climate controlled and after a minute Alex can feel the heat kick on in response to the change in the temperature. Her frown sticks, because Alex can't help it, and for all that he says that the connections that she sees aren't there, they both know that they normally are. Alex is making such a connection now, and she doesn't like it, but it's definitely connected to the way that he stared at nothing and she knows it in her gut.
"I traveled a lot of places when I was younger. I actually thought about being a travel writer for a little while." It's a reflex to answer the question as she keeps her arms around him.
But Alex wouldn't be Alex if she didn't ask the tough questions: "what just happened Richard? Just now, after you were sick. I know something did. The room got colder."
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She sits at the sea door and the Tall Pauls stand around her. Her legions, and he is there and Alex is at his side and why...Why...
When he looks at her he holds her tightly, "...Trust me. I have no idea. Jesus let's get out of here and get a blanket."
Moving away from the bathroom is better, and he feels warmer, but he is also eager to open the door. To bridge new scientific discoveries.
"I think if I practice the...sickness will get better. I don't like throwing up."
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