11calls: Walking in mist is a bad idea, Alex. (Default)
Alex Reagan ([personal profile] 11calls) wrote2020-09-07 03:36 pm
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nobasisinfact: (27)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-07-30 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
It would have been no different than normal for me.

[It's an admission made with frost. The fact that he'd been falling for her for months, that he'd been holding himself back for far longer than she'd known because her feelings weren't the same.]

And maybe you should have thought about what she was going to do with it before you told her.
nobasisinfact: (Lens flare)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-07-30 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
And you thought I thought you could?

[The words are still cold, still almost emotionless. If she thought he had any idea that she really could love him, that his hope of what might have become of the night before Geneva, or Brazil, would really come to pass, she was being an idiot.

He had no idea if she would love him the way he'd struggled not to love her.]


What, do you plan on doing about her?
nobasisinfact: (19)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-07-30 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe you should think about why I would have said them. I assure you it had very little to do with your feelings.

[He chooses to leave the situation with Rey alone for now. Time will tell if Alex does anything to stop the girl's onslaught of abuse, and if it doesn't, he'll be looking into ways of blocking her from contacting him. Maybe that hacker friend of Alex's can help.

Their argument, however, has gone far beyond Rey. It's become a match. Who fell first and who hurt the worst (not that Richard really understands that's where it's gone).]
nobasisinfact: (19)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-07-30 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[Her questions brought to light what he'd said. What he'd never planned on admitting to anyone, even himself. The barriers he put up to stop himself from longing for Alex's companionship. How, after Coralee made it clear she wasn't coming back, that she didn't want him anymore, he used her as a protective shield, as a piece of his armor to keep his feelings for Alex at bay.

So of course, he planned to change the subject.]


How many other people have you told?
nobasisinfact: (13)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-07-31 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Richard's eyes glance at the phone. There's a part of him that doesn't want to read the messages, doesn't want to know what life Alex had while he wasn't here. Of course, she had a life, and he was fine with that. He was fine not knowing what she'd been doing while she was here. While he was trying to keep her and Charlie safe. While he was dealing with his father's suddenly being alive and kidnapped to Geneva with Coralee. While he was trying not to let her walk into the same trap that he knew he was walking into.

Except, that life seemed to keep popping up and attacking him. Every time he turned around she had told someone new. Told someone about Coralee, the woman he tried to avoid talking about. Tried to push back as far as he could. The woman who seemed to keep ghosting to the front of his life without a care of how deeply she'd scared his soul. And yet Alex was casually telling her friends about it.

It takes moments, several before his had even moves, and when it does it's almost only a cursory look over the information before he flips through it, absorbing the information quickly before pausing completely at one very specific string of comments. One very specific offer of cooking and a bottle of red.

His thumb flicks a few more times to find a second conversation. More entrenched in the same type of banter that he thought was him and Alex. There was, of course, Alex's flirty way of being, but their's was something different - or so he thought. Clearly, he was wrong. Clearly, he'd been, invading. Or so he felt as if he were. He also felt as if the pit of his stomach was going to drop out of his feet, or come up through his throat. Whichever it found more convenient.

Carefully, he placed the phone down before turning to the door.]


I'm, going out.

[The words were tight before he started heading toward that door.]
nobasisinfact: (36)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-07-31 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
[That, only made it worse. She was using him as an excuse to take things that were between them, that were theirs and make them something between this man and her.]

Aren't you the one who doesn't give up hope?

[His frown only deepened. It's not about her giving up hope at him being here. It's not even about Alex sleeping with John (although it does feel painfully like Coralee's discretion. It was the things that had been them, the things that he'd given only to her that she'd just tossed out to someone else. Threw into the street for anyone to pick up.]

I'm not, doing this right now. I'll be back later.

[Maybe. Once he's compartmentalized this.]
nobasisinfact: (53)

[personal profile] nobasisinfact 2018-08-01 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Logically, he knew that he wasn't being fair, that this had been before he'd arrived, that she had a right to a life outside of this and a right to move on from this whenever she wanted to. That logic didn't reach his heart though, and the feeling that it was being crushed by just how she had gone about it. Banter and everything that had always been them, just thrown out to this John person.

He tries not to watch as she crumbled. He knew this was entirely him, that once, maybe he would have been able to explain himself, to explain how the whole thing felt like a betrayal even if he knew it wasn't, but he knew that the person he was now would just shoot barbs like the one he just had if he stayed. Richard was a man who used his words as weapons, it wasn't something you could stop just because you were upsetting someone.

His fingers clenched and unclenched, part of him wanting to reach out, knowing that this wasn't her fault, but his heart still couldn't do it. Not now. He needed to decompress, to compartmentalize what she'd done and to reason out why it wasn't as horrible as he felt like it was.

Instead, he just continued walking, leaving the house. He'd find his own solace alone in his office. He'd think things through and force his heart to stop feeling as if she'd taken a dagger to it with her actions. Actions he knew shouldn't be bothering him, but did. She, would seek comfort in some of her many friends. Simon and Stan maybe (maybe even John came a bitter voice in the back of his head. A voice he chose very strongly to ignore.) Eventually, he would be back, or she'd walk into his office, but he would probably be back. He wasn't planning on being gone for any length of time. He wasn't packing suits or making arrangements to disappear. He was just, removing himself from the equation for a while.]