11calls | (no subject)

God Alex is tired. It’s not something new, which anyone who has known her for the last two years, or listened to her show or even just looked at her is aware of. She’s the sort of bone tired most days that caffeine barely touches, but Alex devours it anyway, hoping that she will find the magic in it she once did. Too bad all levels of magic had been tainted by what was happening around her. But maybe the coffee did have something to do with the way that she slept so restlessly for such a little period of time.

It was weird, really, to be back in her bed considering how many nights she’d spent crashing out on Richard’s couch. Despite what Nic Silver may have been pushing her on, (“you can’t keep sleeping at your subject’s house, Alex!”) it has only ever been the couch. Richard had made the guest room an option once she’d gotten back from Turkey but Alex had refused it, because it felt way too premeditated than just falling asleep there. At least that’s what Alex had told herself anyway even when Strand made her breakfast every day and dinner more often than not. But after seeing what she’d had as a nightmare for so long so vividly there on a screen, followed by Richard’s asking if she was okay in such a worried voice meant that she needed to get some time away from both him and the tapes.

Well, as much space from them as she can get nowadays anyway.

Somewhere along the way, with visions of Calvin and the interview with Richard’s professor's ‘colleague. Not friend.’ looming tomorrow, Alex had fallen asleep. Maybe it was just the sheer exhaustion that she always put herself through or god knows what but she does end up falling asleep.

Her dreams aren’t great—they never are and never will be again—and Alex tosses and turns with them. After a little while, Alex settles and then opens her eyes to see the darkness being darker in her bed, and she just gasps loudly, unable to put words to her mouth.

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Even if she hasn't let go of him she did release him enough to move, so Simon also shifted to sit up. An even more looming shadow in the darkness, hunched and bent like an old broken tree. That would at least give him enough freedom to use his claws to communicate more easily. Usually Simon wasn't urgent, so he knew Alex would take it seriously when he was. Even in clicks, he could still get the point across.

You want me to go to Geneva with Strand.

Tap. Yes.

But he's on the right track with Calvin and the Reformation and me talking to his colleague tomorrow.

Tap. Yes. Again the affirmative. Much as they had "spoken" the night Alex caught Simon on tape telling her to go the fuck to sleep, only this time she could hear him.

God, I wish you could tell me why I was dreaming of the Helvetian two years ago before I'd seen that tape of his.

Quieter... tap tap. No. He can't tell her, even now. Not with his voice gone.

And yet... I fucking hate that they've stolen your voice again.

The final somber tap of agreement, if a tap could be somber Simon sure seemed to be able to make it so. He hates it too. Only just had his voice back for a short time and now it was gone. True he could probably still throw it through electronic devices but that would take a lot of effort and energy he didn't have right now.

He'll record a message for her to find later.

Without thinking about it, Alex just wraps her arms around him and hugs him. Later, she'll remember that Simon is wrapped up in a demonic body that has terrorized her for three years, and she'll also remember that Alex probably wouldn't have touched him even if he was human, because Simon was a touch me not and well...it's not like she would have been any position to before when he was in the hospital and Alex was supposed to have journalistic integrity. Journalistic integrity was right out the window now with everything else. The world was ending, Simon was a demon and it was her fault, and everything is a heavy weight resting on her heart like a tumor comprised of guilt and fear.

But whatever her fear of things is, Alex is still hugging Simon in a demon body because she cares, because she hates that he's trapped like this without his being able to talk. She cares that out of all of the places in the world that he could be (literally) where he is is here in her bedroom and in her bed. Even without knowing what Simon might be saying, Alex knows that he's here to protect her and keep her safe from whatever is coming next, and what's coming next is Geneva and everything that Thomas Warren is doing there. Thomas Warren has a lot to answer for and Alex is going to make him pay for it in any way that she can. She doesn't care, because all the rules and everything else go right out the window when the devil is in town and if there's one thing that Warren is, it's the devil in their story.

"I'm going to get your voice back. I'm going to stop whatever it is that Warren wants Strand to do there." Alex clearly thinks that's why it's so important that she goes rather than any other reason. Strand needs someone to remind him and to tie him too the Earth rather than to Tiamat and the Stars and she's pretty sure that Alex is his anchor and his tether. Too bad she doesn't think that either one of those roles is coming through this unscathed.

Edited 2021-09-02 01:00 (UTC)

Alex you can't just go around hugging demons! Simon stiffens at first, partly out of confusion and partly because he knows that later if Alex ruminates on this too much she's going to be even more upset. Really, he's more worried about her than himself, which is probably how he got himself into this mess to begin with. Simon's not used to being hugged so it takes him some time to react but eventually he does lean into her just barely, a returned hug without the arms because she doesn't need that imagery to haunt her nightmares with.

If there is going to be any saving him Geneva might be their only chance. Geneva, and Thomas Warren's machines. Simon still didn't want her to go. Too much was at stake if she did. If things went south, if Richard fucked it up and fell right into Warren's trap as he's very liable to do then it's all over. At the same time... they have to do something. Because hiding and denying the reality wasn't going to work anymore.

Again he taps his claws together twice, quietly. He'd rather she not go, but the quiet protest wasn't particularly insistent anymore. Seems Simon has accepted that his protest is going to be ignored and there isn't much point in arguing with her about it. He just can't voice anything more than a yes or no, which really made holding a nuanced conversation difficult.

He knows she's going. He's just going to have to up his game in keeping her safe.