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God Alex is tired. She’d thought, perhaps naively that her sleep would end up getting better when Strand returned from wherever he had fucked off to this time (Charlie. And Alex doesn’t blame him for that truly. His daughter deserved to hear what had happened to and with Coralee in person. It was why when Strand had reached out to get the full file over email—the only time he reached out actually—Alex had sent all of the unedited footage even if there had only been a few more words that were basically a promise for later that didn’t come. She just wished that he had told her where he was going or had answered the call when Trump had been elected. It’s kind of hard thinking you may have started the end of the world and had that happen honestly.) but so far it hasn’t. Alex had spent the last two weeks at Howard’s house going over every Black Tape that he’d never shown her before. In the episode she had said that there were maybe a hundred of them that she’d not seen before and Alex had been wrong. There were 133 of them and each one of them was a fucking nightmare. It was so bad that Alex had ended up just passing out on his couch from sheer exhaustion and making the briefest of pit stops in her apartment for a shower and clothes and so that she didn’t arrive at the same time that Strand did. Nic gave her enough shit already—she doesn’t need anymore.

But given that the episodes were back and that Alex had an early morning interview tomorrow. (Thomas Warren. That should be fun, especially considering how Strand became a sulking child who slumped in his seat and crossed his arms whenever the man was even mentioned!) She actually headed home to her own apartment to try and sleep at least where she wouldn’t end up with a crick in her back. Maybe the shadows in her apartment would be familiar enough that she could actually sleep. Of course Alex isn’t holding her breath, but she does always try to have hope even when it seems fucking impossible to do so.

Ordering in dinner from her favorite pizza place (the one Strand hates because it’s too greasy and unhealthy and Alex Reagan really doesn’t cook) and opening up a bottle of cheap and too sweet wine, she’s got her feet up in the warm and slightly mismatched and cluttered apartment. Her couch is vastly superior to Strand’s and her tv is too even if Alex doesn’t want to admit that she actually does miss his company. The lights of the city are bright behind her curtains and it’s probably too late for dinner, but Alex really doesn’t care. When you don’t sleep like she doesn’t sleep time is an illusion and pizza is amazing.

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Did someone ask for familiar shadows? Maybe of the stalking, sleep watching, tapping variety? Usually Simon had better timing for his night watch rounds, Alex typically sound asleep by the time he decided to come lurk. Tonight not so much, though if by accident or intent it would be difficult to say.

At least this time he would prove to be polite enough to let his presence be known by just... showing up, to lean on her couch. Not say anything, because that would be too polite and we just can't have that. He's just going to act like he totally belongs there watching a movie with her.

If there’s one thing that lack of sleep has given her over the last three years, it’s decent spatial awareness especially where it comes to people being in her line of sight when there definitely shouldn’t be. Letting out a loud gasp (because the only time Alex screams are when she’s waking up from nightmares. Even when she’d found Maddie Franks Alex hadn’t screamed.) and dropping the plate holding her pizza, Alex just whips towards him with her eyes wide.

This is the first time she’s physically seen him in three years and he still looks starved (and it hits her then that Alex has only actually seen him in the flesh once for as large as he looms in her life which is an extremely odd concept.) this is also the first time that she’s seen him in her apartment even though Alex knows he’s been there once and suspects that it’s been many more besides. It’s probably not a surprise that she manages to choke out, “oh my god! Simon?!” This should be impossible and there's every chance that this is a strange dream given how all of her dreams are strange and have been for ages, but it doesn't feel like a dream. The sense of not being a dream is only increased when Alex takes her right hand in her left and jams her finger and thumb in the webbing of the other hand--an age old way of trying to wake herself up when her nightmares become far too real.

While a small, awful, part of him is disappointed she didn't scream, the greater part is pleased. Alex always has been fearless, it's part of what's gotten her into this mess to begin with. He likes that about her.

"Hello, Alex." He responds in that usual, faintly amused calm drawl of his, as though there were nothing at all strange about showing up unannounced and uninvited into her apartment. He watches her gesture smirking faintly, he knows what she's doing, but he'll let her continue until she's satisfied with the reality of the situation. "You're not dreaming." This time.

There are certain things that Simon says to Alex that make her want to slap him a little bit, and while 'Hello Alex' in that tone is one of them, it's definitely nowhere near as bad as the far worse 'goodbye Alex' that always accompanies her being hung up on. But Alex doesn't slap him, and instead she just stares at him while she quickly releases the grip that she'd had on her own hand. Eyeing him warily as she bends down to pick up the pizza plate that thankfully didn't end up cheese side down on her carpet, she sets it on the table. "Well, I guess I should be glad that you're actually talking to me this time and not just knocking when I'm trying to sleep." Not that Alex is bitter about that and how crazy it made her sound or anything. But that's more of a problem with Nic than a problem with Simon.

The problem with Alex is that she's well... there's a lot of problems with Alex actually, but one of them happens to be that she's very Canadian through and through, and she's a decent person at her core. Which means that when a too skinny not quite a teenager anymore has bilocated into her apartment in the middle of the night, one of the things that she feels like she has to do is thrust food at him. Which is why she slides her piece of pizza onto the table itself and then grabs two of the slices with pepperoni and extra cheese and shoves it in his direction. "Jesus, when's the last time you ate?"

Edited (edits) 2021-02-18 01:33 (UTC)

The good news is that he can't hang up on her in person, the bad news is he'll probably do the bilocating equivalent when he decides it's time to go. Simon is terrible like that. She should also probably not tell anyone he was here, wanted felon and all, but that's really up to her. He won't be caught until he wants to be caught. "I knew you'd find my messages." He won't comment on that also being really weird. He knows.

Now it's Alex's turn to throw him off, by shoving food in his general direction. Hesitant at first he eventually reaches out to take the offered pizza. Why say no to offered food? Especially food that isn't of the psychiatric hospital variety? And... that's honestly a good question. "Yesterday." So, yeah, Simon doesn't eat. Too busy conspiring and bilocating for food, apparently.

Alex isn't going to tell anyone he was here, because she's fairly certain that the one thing that both Nic and Strand would agree on would be that Alex had finally gone over the edge if she announced that not only was Simon in her apartment, but that he was also in her apartment where she could actually see him and wasn't just knocking on her pipes. If she wanted to, she knows that she could try to grab her recorder but she's fairly certain that he would bilocate out of here as soon as she took her eyes off him at that point. Hell, she's not even sure if Simon wouldn't do that the next time that she blinks.

But Alex does frown when he says that he ate yesterday, because that tone of 'yesterday' is the same sort of answer that she gives when someone asks when was the last time that she slept and Alex knows that she doesn't have a proper answer. "You should eat more." Yes, Alex knows that makes her a hypocrite considering how many times people have said that to her, but honestly, considering he showed up in her apartment and she figures that's allowed at this point. Before he can say that she should eat more too (Alex knows that she's lost some weight since she started on the show, because nothing kills your appetite more than demons and a lack of sleep) she picks up her own pizza and takes a bite of it.

Is Alex entirely dying to ask him what he's doing here? Of course she is, but feeding him is taking precedence at the moment.

She's right, this is one of those situations where he's not going to let her record evidence of his being there. This will just have to be between the two of them, and however crazy Alex feels like sounding on her show. If it was important enough for him to show up in person it was too important to be made public. Otherwise he'd resort again to cryptic phone calls and spooky voice messages.

And, as is often the case, she's right about that as well. 'Yesterday' was definitely the answer he had to offer in lieu of a real one, though he does still give her a look that said he was on to her hypocritical antics here. For the woman who hasn't slept properly in over a year to be lecturing him on bad health habits! At least he doesn't point it out. He'll just eat this... actually surprisingly good pizza. Definitely better than what he'd ever had in Three Rivers.

He's tempted to ask her if she feeds every stray that shows up at her apartment, but that might be too on point. "Taking a night off? That's good. You'll need the rest." As much as she strikes him as the obsessive workaholic, what's coming will need her at her best.

Alex is definitely an obsessive workaholic, and one doesn't need to be stalking her in order to know that--all they need to do is to listen to the evidence that she puts out on her show. And the answer to feeding every stray that shows up is likewise a probably, considering how she is and how many times that Alex has forced Strand to eat something, especially last year when she'd dragged him back into the land of the living. It doesn't escape her notice that she's doing the same thing for both of them, but it is something else that Alex files into the back of her head for similarities between the two of them beyond simply being a pain in her ass at times.

For a moment, Alex doesn't say anything, and she just chews a bite of her pizza. She wonders if Simon knows that they're going to meet Warren in the morning (and not at Daeva because Alex isn't stupid enough to make that same mistake twice) but somehow she doesn't think that's what he means. "I've just spent two weeks sleeping on Strand's couch watching the rest of his tapes. I figured I was entitled to my own bed for once." But for as nonchalant as she would like to keep sounding, Alex can't, not when he's actually here in her apartment, and they both know that they're not going to have their conversation spread out for Strand or Warren or anyone else to hear.

"Okay, Simon, I'll bite. Why am I going to need the rest? It's been a year and so far it seems like everything's just gone into hiding for all that you've said about the five gates and it being a virus and everything else."

Her show has been very useful for insight into both her, and what he's seeking. She already knows his main goal, he wants to keep the sunsets around. It's the getting to that point that's the tricky part. They are now both officially Alex's strays. Annoying, frustrating strays.

He does know, Simon knows a lot of things he's not letting on yet. Can't distract her, she has to stay the course just as he has to stay his. This visit was probably an error in judgement, but also likely the last chance he'll have. After tonight, everything changes. He just nods, chewing his own pizza thoughtfully. He won't be able to watch over her tonight, that's too bad, hopefully she gets decent sleep anyway.

"I'm planning something, tonight. If it goes well you'll be hearing from me soon. If not... I guess you won't." He doesn't expect it won't go well, he's getting pretty good at this, but there's always that what if. "If I disappear, you'll have to keep going forward on your own."

Everything about Simon is about expecting the unexpected and Alex knows it. When he says that he's planning something, Alex is more surprised by the advanced notice than anything else. She kind of hates it a little bit that she's not more concerned about the fact that what he's doing probably means that someone is going to die (and of course, it normally means that from everything that Alex knows about him) but when Simon kills, he doesn't do it indiscriminately. All of the people he's killed have been hurting kids in some way and Alex can't find it in her heart to mourn any of them. The only person who she mourns for in this situation is the kid that Simon Reese should have been before his mother opened the Door in his nursing and his father chanted over his crib.

Alex's face has always been expressive, just like her voice is and she tends to consider it one of her failings that most people can tell how she really feels just by looking at her or listening to her and they don't even need to do it that closely. But now when he says that something may not go well and that she may have to keep going forward on her own, Alex looks concerned. Not being an idiot, Alex knows that he may be the only person in this whole thing who is telling her anything close to the truth even if he hides it in riddles and what not. He definitely never gives her straight answers that's for sure. "Simon, what are you talking about? What are you going to do?" Because of course Alex is going to ask--she'd be a pod person if she didn't.

About the only thing with Simon she can expect is that there's probably going to be a murder somewhere, and that whoever it is probably deserved it. Is it the most moral method? Perhaps not, but Simon's never expressed an interest in those sorts of philosophical discussions. He's doing what he thinks is right, and taking out bad people who have been getting away with doing terrible things to children. Whoever he could have been has long since been lost, though perhaps in his wake of personal revenge and destruction he'll save more from his fate.

While Alex is expressive, Simon remains as ever somewhat difficult to get a read on. Something about the way he doesn't seem to blink quite enough, if at all, and doesn't look away. Still there seems to be something of amusement there. Alex knows he's not going to answer that question, he was never going to answer that question. In fact, he's not even going to acknowledge that question was asked. "You will keep going won't you, Alex? You're getting so close, you wouldn't stop now." At least it wasn't 'Goodbye, Alex'?

It was mostly the pizza keeping him there.

It's odd really, in the two plus years it's been since Alex had interviewed him, she'd thought that she'd exaggerated the way that Simon didn't blink. But seeing it in the flesh again reminds her that if anything, she'd downplayed it for her show--probably because she was convinced at the time that people would have seen it as an over the top detail to an already over the top story. His gaze was unnerving then, and while it's not worse in her apartment (let's be honest, after so long mired in the Black Tapes, Alex's weirdness dealing level has only gotten uncountably higher.) it's very different than what it was.

And yes, she knows that she amuses Simon, Alex has always known that from the beginning.

That said, she does let out a lengthy sigh when he ignores the question, even though he ignores her questions ninety percent of the time anyway, because she'd hoped that his actually showing up might have been a bit different. "I've never been very good at giving up on things, Simon. You already know that about me." That said, she does open the pizza box and put another two slices on his plate. He needs the food far more than she does.

"How will I know the difference? You went quiet in the six months that Strand was gone." Which wasn't chastening him exactly, if only because Alex knows that it wouldn't do her a bit of good even though she's older than he is (not really old enough to be his mother, but definitely an older sister or aunt) he's normally the one who tells her off.

It probably helps that while still intense and creepy, Simon isn't intentionally playing it up this time. He doesn't have to catch her attention anymore, or make a show of demonstrating that there is something strange going on. She's experienced enough now to believe him. Now he's just low-key standard creepy.

Showing up is different, though that doesn't mean he's going to hand her information too early. When the time is right, when he's sure, then she'll know. He can't risk throwing her off by answering these things too soon. He smiles, pleased. Of course he knew she wouldn't, but the reassurance was good. If something did happen he'll try to find a way to get that information out to her even if he can't do it himself anymore. "I know. This is important. I want you to be ready."

And apparently feed him more. He's still working on his first slice, he doesn't have that great an appetite, but he'll try to eat as much as he can. It's not everyday someone feeds him!

"You'll know. I'm not making you wait this time." So, no six months of silence. At least he doesn't intend for there to be six months of silence. Simon is terrible at listening to chastising anyway, he won't listen and she knows he won't. She also knows that if he says he's going to do something he will do it. Whatever's coming he'll be reaching out to her through his usual shady channels.

Well at least it’s a relief that he’s not going to be going entirely off grid for that long before. Not hearing from either him or Strand probably should have been a good thing considering how intense the six months before that had been, but Alex had been on tetherhooks waiting for something to happen. It’s hard to hear that you may have caused the end of the world and be the only person who actually believes it left alone holding the bag. It would have been better if she’d gotten creepy calls about it, or knocks or answers to her emails about it or basically anything other than radio silence. When Strand had showed up in her office after coming back from Italy without calling and with his bags from the airport it had been the worst fight they ever had and that had included the time that Richard had told her that she was a shit reporter and that he was quitting before he had turned into an obsessive fantatic for finding his wife and wearing flannel and growing a beard. A similar fight with Simon isn’t going to be useful or fruitful. Besides most of her anger has seeped out of her by now.

But if he thinks that she’s not going to ask any questions, Simon has forgotten just who he is talking to.

“So I'm assuming it's more important than whatever was going on with Amalia?" Alex still doesn't know what was actually happening with her ex, but they haven't really been in contact since the silence of everyone else in her life. Nic had seen her when he was in Russia doing stuff for Tanis, but in some ways it's like Alex has stopped existing considering everything else. While she would like to think that it's not connected to everything that's happened, at this point it doesn't seem like it's at all possible.

Not this time, not again. It's beginning to snowball too fast, too much is happening. He doesn't have the time to disappear as he had before. Not that Alex realizes it yet, she will soon. Very soon, if he has anything to say about it. And we all know Simon does like having his say. He'll be sure to up the frequency of creepy calls and knocks in the future, since she likes them so much. He'd hate for her to think he was leaving her holding the bag permanently. There were things he had to look into, and interested parties he had to stay downwind from. She'll know, soon enough he'll be able to finally tell her more. A fight with Simon probably wouldn't be nearly as cathartic, he'd just tell her "Goodbye, Alex" and do that annoying vanishing act of his.

As for questions he'd be disappointed if she didn't ask! That's not like the Alex he knows. He just waits for her to ask the ones he's inclined to answer.

"She's a piece, one of many of a much greater whole. This is a greater piece, one I think will help you significantly on your investigation." As long as he can secure it. And her, though getting Alex to come answer his cryptic calls he thinks will be easier than the obtaining.

The only time Alex had threatened to not accept his calls had been when she'd come back to his phone call after having her car broken into, after requesting separate rooms at the Empress and after the fight that she'd had with Strand. Honestly, she had been more than a little bit done with the entire show at that point, even if she'd just come back from her enforced vacation at that point. Still, Simon had been able to wheel her back in through the mention of Amalia and sunsets. Then he'd escaped Three Rivers and had ended up killing Brother Edward and the rest of the Brothers of the Mount and god knows who else considering she's sure that some of it didn't even end up making it's way to her ears.

But of course, Alex is definitely interested in a greater piece of an investigation that at this moment feels a bit fractured at best. There's too many tapes, too few new threads to pick at and too few answers. The few concrete things that they have are Howard Strand's journal (which is suspect just by the nature of who had possession of it before Strand had been given it) and the information about the Monolith in Cefalù, Sicily that it contained and the video of the people being killed that had come from a Rome postmark even if it couldn't be authenticated to have come from there. And to have Simon say it's a big piece makes Alex hope that it might be something that at least open something.

"Can you at least tell me what it's around so that I can start doing research on it now? So I know where to start looking in case you aren't..." Then Alex stops, because for all of the things that they'd been talking about, it's just clicked with her: he's talking about dying. He's talking about dying and Alex just looks horrified. "No, you can't go on a possible suicide mission. There's got to be a better way than that."

Which, you know, if we were being fair would be absolutely reasonable all things considered. Unfortunately by then Alex was too deep, and there wasn't going to be any calling it off that easily. Even if she did quit the show the attention she'd attracted so far wasn't going to simply step away because she quit. There were too many threads attached now. As for the murders, well... she didn't need to know everything he was getting up to. He's been very busy, after all.

It must be frustrating, all of these seemingly disparate pieces of a puzzle too large to parse. However, she's much closer to answers than she realizes she just can't quite see them yet.

Her concern does, for a brief moment, seem to shock him. He is certainly concerned for her well-being in all of this, but he hardly expected it to be the same for her. Then again, Alex was the caring type. Cared a little too much, one might suggest. "I'm not the one you need to be worried about," He reminds. She and Dr. Strand were in a far worse position than he was. He's just doing reckless things for good reason. Still, he appreciates it, she's good people.

He'll just move on to her first question instead, and move on to his second slice of pizza. Still sticking around for a snack. "You already have been. It's what all of this is about. Well, a part of it," And as he said a major part. "You'll understand soon, but not before."

Alex has known that there's been someone watching her since Nic had first received the hexadecimal code in the studio that eventually became the Unsound timer. There's been times when she was coming home from the studio or an interview that Alex could feel a twitching between her shoulders, and the sensation of eyes being on her. At this point, Alex is familiar with the feeling of different sets of eyes on her--the sort that come with all of the things involving the supernatural that she's involved in and the familiar feeling of eyes that were more human. It's something that has happened before (her snark to the Sheriff in Los Gatos about 'not this time' was real--people are weird about women reporters) but this place is supposed to have been more secure. Of course no one counted on bilocation and demons being real when it came to where they lived.

"Simon, you can't just go on a suicide mission!" Alex says it again, but more insistently this time. How would you feel if I decided to go waltzing into Gluska or something?" But in her own way, Alex knows that she's probably on one anyway. By the laws of the horror trope that they're all inside of, she knows that she's not the Final Girl: Strand is. Which either makes Alex the plucky sidekick (which honestly a hell of a lot of people already treat her like now) or the possible love interest that he has chemistry with. Either way, Alex Reagan knows that she's probably getting fridged when it all comes down to it. And it sucks, but it's definitely way too late for her to get off the Black Tapes train now.

"And of course I worry about you. Especially when you say cryptic stuff like that! Whatever else, I do think that you're not someone who's trying to hurt me, which at this point feels like a very small number of people." Distressingly small, as a matter of fact for someone who used to have so many friends before she'd ended up so mired in her show. Now Alex can count them on one hand: Strand, Nic, Simon and her parents who she really doesn't want to involve in this in any way. "So telling me to worry about myself and Strand" obviously "isn't going to make me worry about you less!"

Protection against demons typically wasn't high up on the list of things people include in their requirements when searching for a place to live, it's true. Unfortunately for Alex it's become something of a necessity. At least this particular bilocating weirdo isn't actually here with ill intent, he just wants to eat pizza and have a chat.

"Now why would you go and do something like that?" He's only half kidding, because he knows full well if her story led her there she absolutely would try. That's the kind of persistence Alex possesses, but also the kind of recklessness that's going to get her killed. Something Simon would very much like to prevent, thus the necessity of his own suicide mission. "Alex, I promise I'll be careful. I just wanted to warn you in the slim chance something happens." Simon's cautious enough to dodge Warren, he probably has the best chance out of all of them to pull off his sneaky operative shenanigans.

Her confirmation that she realizes he doesn't want to hurt her does earn a faint smile. She's right, she's usually right and people don't give her enough credit for that. Instead they try to make her doubt herself to the point she starts trying to ignore what's right in front of her. Strand's a bad influence in that regard. At least she has Simon to Cheshire Cat her back on the case. "Alright, I'll concede." This time. If only because he has to go soon, but he'll spend just a little more time before he has to. The pizza's a good enough excuse.

"I was actually possibly heading there before. Last year. To Gluska I mean." Alex lets out a little laugh that's slightly bitter because it can't not be at this point. "Nic thought I was being dramatic and thought I was in a lifetime thriller or something. He wasn't thinking big enough." Cause Coralee had come in a squeal of tires to kidnap or save them or whatever the hell that was. And one thing that she does believe, even if no one else does (other than the kid sitting next to her currently on the couch) is that she's definitely had a hand in at least giving the end of the world a jumpstart. It's not an easy sensation to sit with, which may be one of the reasons that Alex is so bad at sitting with anything.

She's self aware enough to know that his saying that he'll be careful is more than a little bit like how she herself says it. Honestly maybe she'll bring Nic in coffee and donuts from the place that he likes tomorrow because if this is how she's made him feel for the last three years, she probably owes it to him. It's something that she'll consider after Simon goes. But his admitting that he'd be careful is probably better than she might have otherwise gotten from him, so Alex knows that she's going to need to take it.

But with her piece of pizza finished, Alex picks up her glass of wine and looks at him, with another question. "So why all the cloak and dagger stuff with my going to the coffee shop in Pike's Place and having you call me on the phone when you could have just popped into my apartment, Simon?" And then because she's not an idiot and Strand has to have rubbed off on her at least a little bit after the last three years she adds: "I went back to the payphone. It hasn't worked in years, and hasn't been able to accept phone calls in the last decade. I checked with the phone company." The reason it hadn't been mentioned on her show (or to Nic or Strand honestly) is because she doesn't want to be the subject of any more rumors that she's losing it even more than she already has been.

"I know, I've been listening to your show." Of course he has, he loves the show. But she she already knew that, he'd confirmed that back when she was the one calling him in Three Rivers. He'd hardly stopped just because he was on the run, even if sometimes it's a little harder to come by now. He remembers the episode with Coralee and honestly? He's glad she didn't go. She was in enough danger as things stood and hardly needed to hand herself over on a silver platter. They're both sitting with the uneasy reality of perhaps being some of the few not currently involved in causing the end of the world who actually believe what they're seeing.

Which, well... Simon's used to being labeled crazy, it must be new for Alex. He can embrace it more comfortably, it's not like he has anything to lose. Good, at least she wasn't trying to talk him out of it anymore, that was never going to happen.

"You know why," He offered in his usual mysterious fashion. "I had to make a point, Alex. You were still doubting." But if she felt him she'd have that paranoia that she needs now. If she went deep enough to discover that that's a phone that should never have worked in the first place then all the better. He knew she'd look, even if she didn't say as much on her show. "If I had just done this what would you have told your audience?" The payphone gave her something to record, something dynamic...

He might be playing things up a little bit for the sake of her show. Might as well have some fun if the world is ending, right?

Alex just sighs dramatically. Privately, she's thought that Simon Reese and Richard Strand have had a lot in common even before she'd gotten (probable, but Alex believes it) conformation that Strand was psychic too. They both can be cryptic and assholes who talk down to her even if they're on opposite sides of the fence of what they want to believe. On some reddit, Alex had seen people describe what was happening as Strand and Simon having a war over what she believes, and honestly she doesn't think they're entirely wrong. Of course she doesn't think that they're entirely right either, but it's not as if she's going to go commenting on any reddit like that. If she did, she knows that Nic would murder her and all of this would just be a moot point.

But another way that they're alike is how dramatic they both can be. Seriously, she can't remember a time in her life when she was around so many people who were dramatic towards her, and Alex has been friends with Nic since college and they both dated the same person at once. In a lot of ways, it makes her head hurt. Strand does his dramatic bit in taking his toys and going home. Simon does his by going "goodbye Alex" and hanging up on her. Honestly, at this point it could come out that they're related and she wouldn't be surprised in the least.

"I never thought you would have liked to be a celebrity, Simon." Yes, Alex has suspected that the reason things started with Simon's talking and with Trent were because of the fact that her show had started, and she's pretty sure that the voice on her recorder saying that 'he's not who you think' was Simon well before she'd ever even met him. "But I guess you're right. I know you don't think I'm paranoid enough, and Nic thinks I'm too paranoid and god knows what the hell Strand thinks other than that none of this is real but I think I'm paranoid enough, like some paranoia Goldilocks." Alex Reagan making bad jokes at her own expense when things are crazy? Yep, must be a day that ends in 'y.'

Richard would probably be quicker to disagree with her thought than Simon, they certainly had their similarities. Where Strand would throw a tantrum when things weren't going his way, Simon would just end a conversation he wasn't inclined to elaborate on. Not that different, in the end. The various reddits were entertaining to peruse, Simon likely saw the same argument and also refrained from engaging. Didn't mean he didn't like to trawl when he had a chance.

That did earn something of an amused look. "I never thought I'd be one," This is probably the most positive attention he's had since he was a child. She'll have to forgive him for relishing it just a little bit, even if he has to do so from a distance. "You weren't paranoid enough," He corrected. By now he's pretty sure she's gained a better grasp on the danger they're all in, but he still had to make the point. They tried to take her! It's worse than she knows. "Now your paranoia is just right." He agrees, adding on to her bad Goldilocks joke.

Alex shouldn't be surprised that Simon is amused by his celebrity status but she is. Honestly, it's just one more way that he and Strand are alike then. Cause she knows that Strand liked it too, or did before she started peeling back all of the layers of his armor to get at the secrets that he kept below his chest. Strand liked it when he was still Dr. Richard Strand of The Strand Institute, alpha skeptic and the one who disbelieved so strongly that he'd offered a million dollars for actual proof (even if he didn't have it.) It was about narrative and who controlled them and Strand always wanted to be the one who controlled his. Alex does understand that, but that still doesn't mean that she's going to end up letting him get away with trying to mess with it as much as he did during the first two seasons of their show.

She still hasn't forgotten the way that he'd curated his tapes into the things that she'd found the scariest and most fascinating so that she couldn't end up leaving things alone.

But she frowns at her paranoia being just right, and Alex can't help but to ask him a question that she'd never ask anyone else--not even herself on the sleep notes or in the context of the show, or to Strand himself. "Do you think that I ever could have really left this alone, Simon?"

It's true, Simon has had the liberty of controlling his own narrative. Presenting the character that he wants for this international espionage game he's playing. Even when he first started acting out to try to gain their attention at the hospital he was in control, if a little less... exactly how he wanted to be. He was pretty quick to flip that narrative into one he liked better. More true to who he wanted to be, rather than what he was perceived to be. If he were in Strand's shoes he'd probably be a whole lot less amused by it.

Simon considers her question for a time. A long, long time of silence while he thought about it. Even took the time to finish another slice of pizza before he answered. "We've all made choices, Alex. Whether we knew what we were choosing or not, we all made them." That's not really answering the question, but at the same time it was. "Pursuing the black tapes was yours." And there it is. Had she left them alone, had she accepted what Strand had to offer to her on their first interview... maybe. But after that, after she decided to dig even that first bit further there was no turning back.

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